(updated 3 Mar 05) 

Truck In Ice

The Tri-Winners:

Prior to developing the final product, Mr. Zamboni went through a "trial and error" period. (cdmauger@aol.com)

I'd never have that problem, my car doesn't turn over when it's that cold. (threetreeshill@yahoo.com)

"Don't worry, Billy, we'll get you out. But will you sing us a couple of choruses of "Piano Man" first?" (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

...and it's the first team out, in this year's annual Cool Whip Tractor Pull... (sootnmoopy@aol.com)

"Hurry up, man. I only got ten minutes left to deliver these pizzas." (giraffic_art@yahoo.com)

On a recent dig, anthropologists discover that cavemen didn't just invent the wheel. (phil@blueyonder.co.uk)

"Uh, I have some lock de-icer if you think it'll will work on the ignition." (sootnmoopy@aol.com)

Winners of the Ontario Ice Sculpture competition, Realism category. (strollo5@aol.com)

Just goes to show you, don't cheat on the Iditarod Race. (timamod@aol.com)

The year 2573: Archaeologists discover evidence that the state of Utah was actually occupied. (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Just as officer Johnson suspected: Expired license tags. $130 fine. (breadmaker1123@yahoo.com)

"Hang in there Jed! In a few months it will be spring and we'll be able to get you out!" (fbmarz@earthlink.net)

Six months was a bit long to deliver rural mail, postal inspectors were quickly notified...well, it's "quickly" to them. (humorbear@aol.com)

"I don't think he was saying 'Truck in Ice', but something that sounds quite similar." (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

Until this recent discovery, scientists believed the people of the Ice Age traveled mostly on foot. (noncomposmentiss@aol.com)

"Put it in reverse, let's rock it." (robertellingsworth@yahoo.com; mwatts@nhbakersfield.com)

"Oh no! I left the headlights on. Battery draining for sure." (coa1127@yahoo.com)

Blonde lady: "Have you tried using some anti-freeze to get it out?" (ericray64@sbcglobal.net)

"I knew that metal detector would come in handy." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

When Sally's Jeep spun onto the ice, she immediately had a sinking feeling! (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

"Be careful with that winch hook, I don't want to ruin the paint." (threetreeshill@yahoo.com; paracletus3@earthlink.net)

"I hate to admit it Lisa, but you're right. It is easier to change the tire this way." (ahines3103@aol.com)

"OK OK...I get your drift." (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

CSI: Alaska (jdcoops3@aol.com)

"...and when we get it running we'll try driving it over the lake again." (DOrr@jam.rr.com)

Complimentary valet parking gone wrong. (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)

"Hurry up and siphon the gas before she goes under!" (e-marlon@sio.midco.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)

I STILL don't understand the rules in curling. (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

A good reason to not sit in your car with the heater on while you're ice fishing. (stan@squidworks.com)

"Ahh come on guys, who left the window open?!!" (allen018@aol.com)

I hope the dog's ok. (davidmibarra@yahoo.com)

The next "great" Central Park art display... (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

Remember when Dad took you on your first driving lesson? (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

"I know there is a jack in here somewhere." (DReale12@aol.com)

Now for the finishing touch -- two flat tires underwater. Man, this is the BEST prank we've ever pulled! (mimsydivine@earthlink.net)

Girl: "You're sure both you guys hands are frozen in place? Good, in that case I'll just relieve you of your wallets..." (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Woman: "I TOLD you we were lost!" (noveed@yahoo.com)