(updated 4 Jul 03) 

Skateboarder

The Winner:  "It's clear to me that in 25 years you will be 'The Man' so I'd like to set a precedent right now by asking for a handout." (comedian2000@hotmail.com)

The Runners Up: 

The nuclear winter had subsided, and Adrianna found herself next to the only other survivors; Bill and Jim, both of which she had told she wouldn't date if they were the last guys on Earth. (WillyTheTunaFish@aol.com)

"You can ride my skateboard, if I can ride your girl." (Chrldav3@aol.com)

"I'll do an ollie of the curb and bust my ass for some spare change" (LIZ9178402@yahoo.com)

"Dude, here's fifty cents. Go buy your girl some pants that fit." (Twistylitlminx@aol.com)

"I'm going though a ...divorce, yeah a divorce and .... that's why I'm selling the board so cheaply." (TZMAC@aol.com)

Ahh, the mating ritual of the skater. See how rigid the stance of the boardless male becomes when the other male displays it's plumage to the slightly unwilling female. They are both determined to stay polite when what is instinctive to them both is a fight to the death over the female, who even at this time is waiting for a more attractive male to come. (gonnabmeeee@aol.com)

"OK, dude in the blue, you really are not pulling off the rebellious skater image, and we are gonna hafta ask you to leave." (differentdrum456@aol.com)

"Hey dude, like I already told you, 'you can't ride my board til ya hand over the chewing gum, I can't afford no lawsuit'." (tackajoey@aol.com)

"Yeah, I used to be Screech. Now give me your lunch money!" (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

On the last episode of "Adam-12", Kent McCord tries vainly to "go undercover" as a disaffected teenager. (williemelmoth@aol.com)

"Come on, I need someone to watch me and call 911 if needed." (naskarkid9@aol.com)

"Dude! Look how much money I made last year by skateboarding around town." (dannyboy4343@aol.com)

"Awww....c'mon Vessa...you don't REALLY want to choose the pretty boy over me, do you? His shoes are the only black things he's wearing!" (silver_stars42@yahoo.com)

Marilyn Manson asking for handouts after everyone found out he really was the geek from 'Saved by the Bell' (Stan790@aol.com)

"Ill show you my skating wounds for a quarter." (nallumderaj@aol.com)

"So then my parents said 'You'd better have a back up plan, just in case' and I was like, no, man, I'll be a pro skater, you'll see!" (kamasushi@aol.com)

"C'mon dudes, it costs money to stay this stoned." (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The new human bird feeder located near the park. (elonalee@aol.com)