(updated 5 Aug 03) 

Contortionist

The Co-Winners: 

Mario again puts his son's newest fiance thru the normal hoops test. (RWich928@aol.com)

Sandra learned too late that she should never, EVER, ask "What's a woman gotta do to get a drink around here?" (medic_92@yahoo.com)


The Runners Up:

The congressman's luck with his cheap date just kept on getting better! (bonzo7@yahoo.com)

Would you like some more chamPAIN? (kaycorbett@hotmail.com)

I can't wait to see what she does after a SECOND glass of champagne. (jaynashvil@aol.com; bonzo7@yahoo.com)

When Anne drinks it goes straight to her head!!! (marcwwolf@aol.com)

"Son, I had my doubts at first, but you were right. She's a keeper!" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

"I like my champagne with a twist." (murdoctor@aol.com)

Cindy would go to any lengths to be the center of attention. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com)

When her host ended his toast with "Bottoms Up!" Delores took him literally. (Ripster40@yahoo.com)

Rita proudly displays the hollow extra leg that that enables her to drink men under, over and around the table. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

"As I said, Marie...This champagne does wonders to loosen up the joints!" (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Even after her drunk driving accident, Joyce still would not give it up. (rpearson@umr.edu)

If I were the guys in this situation, I'm not sure that having a drink would be my first priority. (skibip@aol.com)

Raul realized only too late that champagne gave Claire gas. (wardeenio@yahoo.com)

Hmm..and Mother thought having your ELBOWS on the table was bad. (gabriel_riley@yahoo.ca)

If you think this is crazy, wait till she corks up the bottle! (Ness14701@aol.com)

"Would you like some pretzels with that? Oh, wait... nevermind." (antimony927@yahoo.com)

Although it was a great party trick, Bill was always embarrassed when Donna's third leg kept kicking the guests. (lhill@maguiregroup.com)

The cheap champagne bottle said "TWIST TO OPEN" and three-legged Della took it literally. (asim_lies@hotmail.com)

Joey and Ralf often have too much to drink, but tonight Sally was really looped. (icediver@ec.rr.com)

Bend It Like Beckham! (lrickets@yahoo.com)