(updated 5 May 04) 

The Coke Machine

The Tri-Winners:

In Amish country, change doesn't come easily. (paracletus3@aol.com)

"This must be one of those big city coke dealers we heard about." (BODYBAGnyc@aol.com)

"I wish this thing would hurry up as I'm f amished!" (paracletus3@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"I don't see how such a big can can come out of this little hole. Truly this machine is Satan's handiwork." (zenphoenix@yahoo.com)

"Can someone please get Brother Jebodiah ..my darn beard is caught again...." (allen018@aol.com)

Amish "Coke" addicts. (Penguann2@aol.com)

"Search harder, Rebecca, the udders must be here somewhere!" (MrglsJon@aol.com)

Amish hooligans knock off another vending machine looking for their favorite "Susan B" silver dollars. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

"I saw it with my own eyes, Papa! A man kicked the machine and got a drink, JUST LIKE when Moses smote the rock and water came forth." (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

Sometimes, even three heads are not better than one. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

"Ya, I see Dr. Pepper's address right here, but he doona com ven I ring for him!" (paracletus3@aol.com)

"Take me to your liter...." (JoBuckle6@Aol.com; AnmchiraE@AOL.com)

"Hello in there!!! We'd like a drink, please!" (murdoctor@aol.com)

"...there goes the neighborhood..." (allen018@aol.com)

"Ezra, I can't find the slot where you put the two chickens and a pound of butter to pay for it." (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

"Where's my damn two dollar American fangled beverage , you frickin computerized butter churnin' new-age wagon hustlin' disciple of evil?!" (submax@charter.net)

A "Classic" example of overwhelming thirst. (Belgmorris@aol.com)

They were even more fascinated with the condom machine in the men's room. (witsend@sevinex.com)

"You mustn't play no more, Isaac...you know gambling is against our beliefs!" (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Sarah explained that the colorful buttons appeared to be lighted from within, but there seemed to be no real purpose for the box that hummed. (kayladykay@aol.com)

These Amish have never seen a more beautiful outhouse before...but how do we get in? (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)

"Ya think this Dr. Pepper can cure your vapors, Martha?" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)