(updated 6 Sep 03) 

Beer Date

The Winner: "Two hours from now, you'll be the sexiest girl in town, Granny Peters." (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

She answered his classified ad: "SWM w/six-pack abs looking for best case scenario." (murdoctor@aol.com)

Even from behind you can tell which one must be uglier. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com; borkat@aol.com)

Alcoholism may not be contagious..but you can still be a carrier. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

If he put that 6-pack in her other hand she would be better balanced. (kaycorbett@hotmail.com)

"Match.com - Give us a try!" (jd8375@msn.com)

Frank knew he had finally found a woman that would pull her own weight. . . (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Now available in convenient six packs, twelve packs, and the brand new "What the Hell? It's Not Like I've Got To Get Up and Go to Work Tomorrow Morning" packs. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

While Tim sought mere beer goggles, Mary sought an entire mask. (dsader@earthlink.net)

Him: Six-pack abs. Her: a case of flabs. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

"My first day of college and Mom was there to help me move in." (L1061A@go.com)

"And when we get home honey, you're taking the piano up the stairs...." (stingray678@yahoo.com)

So what if she has calves like Hillary Clinton? All the better for doing the really important things in life. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Who said chivalry was dead? (nafotot@aol.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Following advice from their sex counselor, Burt and Tina get what they need for each of them to "get in the mood." (nafotot@aol.com)

A to B: "Quit bitchin, Edith!... It's lite beer!" (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Ethel knows how to pick up those young studs at the video arcade. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

"Gee, Wanda, does it really take THAT many before you find me attractive?" (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

After all other fertility methods failed... (princekenny2002@yahoo.ca)

"Mom, please, I don't need that much to score!" (danisy@comcast.net)