(updated 7 Sep 05) 

Long-Haired Guy

The Tri-Winners:

Known world wide for his wisdom, this Guru is a charter member of The Hair Club for Mensas! (maxcel200@aol.com)

"I found one in my soup. I know it was yours!" (RasGold@aol.com)

The giant litmus test revealed that Rasheev's pH was horribly out of whack. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

The Runners Up:

"...so I said 'I'll be damned if I will pay ten bucks for a haircut!'" (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

'Hah! Look Vinu! Uncle Rashid is doing his funny 'Lower-Caste Forklift' impression again!!' (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

"Never mind days, I have bad hair YEARS!" (monacof@bellsouth.net)

"Den I pulled off me hat, and said 'Imagine dat, me workin' for you!" (murdoctor@aol.com)

He dreads having to wash it. (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com; MedCheryl@aol.com)

Raja's hair growth method was simple: Rogaine and a'gaine and a'gaine and a'gaine and a'gaine... (maxcel200@aol.com)

For five rupees Sanjay will tell you the love story of his father, the Bombay fisherman, and his mother, the Giant Squid. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

"Come on kids, you remember... 'don't worry... be happy'... that was me!!" (holtbolt@comcast.net)

Suddenly Super Cuts regretted their "All Haircuts $10" special. (lexkase@san.rr.com)

Let's just say no one said, "Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific." (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Hairy Poppins (maxcel200@aol.com)

Sure he's in the Guinness Book of World Records, but do you really think it's worth not being able to use the escalator at the mall ever again? (manpretty@gmail.com)

He's saving up for a Rani day. (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

"My wife said, 'Look, it's Dwight Eisenhower! Stay here!' so I did." (scalpel@aol.com)

Confirming widespread rumors, an aging Bob Marley is spotted in front of a 7-11 in Calcutta. (kester55@netzero.net)

Who needs fancy expensive hair care products...Crisco and elephant dung have always worked well for me. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

"I've got a job interview in six months -- just enough time to get it all nicely combed out." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Compensating for a small penis is not easy. (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Behold, the REAL Judge 'Dredd'. (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

"If I ever need to let myself down from a second floor balcony, I'm set baby." (tpanner@inorbit.com)

Finally, someone with a worse coiffure then "The Donald". (richdiandkids@optonline.net)

I'd put a dollar in the cup, but I dread going near it. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

'Unable to find a cheap haircut in India? You need to come to New Delhi Cuts. New Delhi Cuts, everyone else is just a bunch of Fakirs.' (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

Whatever happened to that other Milli Vanilli guy? (DaJakAiss@optonline.net)

'Mr. Gibbons has sent us a letter, Uncle.. He says that while he is impressed with your braids, your beard is still way too small after all these years. You are not yet wise enough to be part of ZZ Top. ' (thedraugr@yahoo.com)

People came for miles to see the man, for there was something special about him. He had the town's only umbrella. (Penguann2@aol.com)

Sadly Elongated Hair-Man's request for membership in the Justice League was declined. (manpretty@gmail.com)

World's oldest "Kick the Can" competitor... (rochford@netaus.net.au)

Moments after this photo was taken, the Bombay Board of Health shut down this man's stand for selling shish-ka-bobs contaminated with hair. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Thank God he didn't drop his pants. (eleman8859@aol.com)