Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 11 May 07)

Really Bad Things Overheard at Pyratecon

And the winner of the '21 Jump Street' CD box set is... (shep@compascable.net)

That girl is a pirate's dream, She has a sunken chest. (rampage1984@msn.com) Can we re-bury her?

It's not a peg leg, if you know what I mean. (cdmauger@aol.com)

Okay you guys, don't make us say 'ugh'...er..'arrrrrgh'...

Are you hungry? Let's go to Arrrrrrrrrbys. (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com; scalpel@aol.com)

Didn't you know all pirates wore arrrrrgyle socks? (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

I'll be at the barrrrrrrrrrr. (lhill@bryant.edu)

Say, do these tights make my arrrrrrse look fat? (luganrn77@yahoo.com)

Arrggh. All hands on dick. (tphyll@aol.com)

I'm into catering. Cate-arrrrr-ing? Caaaaat-ering? Blast it all, I deliver food. (scalpel@aol.com)

Get your fresh corn! Only a buccaneer! (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

Is that a hook in my back or are you just unhappy to see me? (Chick65@aol.com)

Yo, ho! How much? (cdmauger@aol.com)

Attendee 1: Why the gasoline and matches? Attendee 2: I misread the flyer. I thought this was Pyro-con. (lhill@bryant.edu) Uh oh...better hide all the planks...

...or better known as members of the "boy, did we get this one pegged wrong" gang...um...plankers...

I wonder if this will be over in time for us to make it to the Star Trek Convention? (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

No no Michael, this is the Pyratecon, convention. NAMBLA convention is not till next week, but still I like the costume. (SPTirish@aol.com)

Where are all the dentists? (Or is that pyreacon?) (pooks49@yahoo.com)

It was told that a confused Chewbacca showed up at Pyratecon. He was quickly skinned, gutted and placed on a spit. (humorbear@aol.com)

I'm sorry, I thought this was a pesticide convention. (TheEyeWit@yahoo.com)

You know, this would be a great place for out Dungeons and Dragons convention. (shep@compascable.net)

Who's the guy in the Willie Stargell uniform? (Banks.del@gmail.com)

I thought this was about burning things! (edprocoat@msn.com)

Show me your t**s! Oh, damn, wrong festival. (ltldollclaudia@yahoo.com)

We went to Pyratecon, and I think I saw Johnny Depp.........300 times. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

I'd say yo! ho! ho!..but, just look at what happened to Imus! (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Well, it was about time they kicked his booty out.

No parrot this year I brought my wife Molly instead and Molly wants a suite with an ocean view, Molly wants me to get a better job, Molly wants a Prada handbag...Me? I want the parrot back. (SPTirish@aol.com)

Does this puffy shirt make me look gay? (tamney@netzero.com) Yes, Jerry...not that there's anything wrong with that.

What's in YOUR wallet? (tphyll@aol.com)

.... so I said to my wife with the wooden leg, "Peg"... (bjjtoff@yahoo.com) Hope you "patch" things up with her!

I met nine wenches last night...got pieces of eight! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Hey, it's better than a sharp stick in the eye.. sorry about that, I didn't realize. (mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

Cool! There's a session on the proper grammatical usage of the interjection "avast"! (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

The winners:

I think this lubber's been landed...

This chicory coffee is fabu!... Uh, I mean – Arrrr! This grog taste like the piss of a dead man! (monetmonet@artlover.com)

Funny...I don't remember mentioning this to you when I saw you last year...hmmmm...

Are you still living in your parent's basement? (shep@compascable.net)