Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 16 Mar 06)

Really Bad Things to Say While Watching 'Dancing With The Stars'

This show would have been a great lead-in for David Spades "Just Shoot Me". (

Boy, I hope this show runs forever. (

Are those boobs real? (

Can we change the channel? Oh, wait a minute! You said "bad things." ( Odds are, there's a show just like it on the next channel...

(Watching George Hamilton) " SEE!? This is what portraying a gay swashbuckler will do to you!" (

Where the hell are the stars? (;

I don't really care who wins, I'm just hoping to see a boob fall out. ( Janet Jackson dancing this time around??

You'd look gorgeous in that outfit honey. Do you think they make it in a size twenty? (

I wonder where he buys pants that stretch like that? ( That's the same technology that allows the network to stretch the competition out over several weeks.

Isn't this so much better than ESPN, honey? (

Yea, I believe you could have been on this show if you hadn't married me, but you know what? If I hadn't married you, I KNOW I wouldn't be WATCHING this CRAP! ( You know...this sounds waaaaay too much like an actual confession.

When's Simon gonna come on and tell them all how fat and ugly they are? (

Once you've admitted that you watch 'Dancing With The Stars' there isn't anything you could say to make it any worse. ( I admit nothing! You'll never get me to talk!!!

Call 911, I just tried that move she did... (

Oh, wow...I thought he was dead! ( He is...jaynashvil figured it all out...

Next time I die and go to hell, would someone please notify me. (

How can they call it ballroom dancing? It doesn't look like there's any ball room in that outfit. (

This show would be even cooler if they'd eat some bugs! (

The winners:

And with some of these sleazy politicians, that a LOT of positions!...

Oh rats ass, I've seen better positions in a political debate. ( fair guessing what's in their Fall line-up...

Maybe if we made one good porno flick, we could end up on this show. (