Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 16 Mar 06)

Really Bad Things to Say While Watching 'Dancing With The Stars'

This show would have been a great lead-in for David Spades "Just Shoot Me". (L1061S@go.com)

Boy, I hope this show runs forever. (rampage1984@msn.com)

Are those boobs real? (tphyll@aol.com)

Can we change the channel? Oh, wait a minute! You said "bad things." (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) Odds are, there's a show just like it on the next channel...

(Watching George Hamilton) "There...you SEE!? This is what portraying a gay swashbuckler will do to you!" (cmndrnineveh@aol.com)

Where the hell are the stars? (tpanner@hotmail.com; Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

I don't really care who wins, I'm just hoping to see a boob fall out. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Geez...is Janet Jackson dancing this time around??

You'd look gorgeous in that outfit honey. Do you think they make it in a size twenty? (dennisilvr@aol.com)

I wonder where he buys pants that stretch like that? (agapeagent@yahoo.com) That's the same technology that allows the network to stretch the competition out over several weeks.

Isn't this so much better than ESPN, honey? (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Yea, I believe you could have been on this show if you hadn't married me, but you know what? If I hadn't married you, I KNOW I wouldn't be WATCHING this CRAP! (dennisilvr@aol.com) You know...this sounds waaaaay too much like an actual confession.

When's Simon gonna come on and tell them all how fat and ugly they are? (bhsmrtgrrl@yahoo.com)

Once you've admitted that you watch 'Dancing With The Stars' there isn't anything you could say to make it any worse. (mikepena@verizon.net) I admit nothing! You'll never get me to talk!!!

Call 911, I just tried that move she did... (agapeagent@yahoo.com)

Oh, wow...I thought he was dead! (Jdoveraz@aol.com) He is...jaynashvil figured it all out...

Next time I die and go to hell, would someone please notify me. (jaynashvil@aol.com)

How can they call it ballroom dancing? It doesn't look like there's any ball room in that outfit. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

This show would be even cooler if they'd eat some bugs! (jaynashvil@aol.com)

The winners:

And with some of these sleazy politicians, that a LOT of positions!...

Oh rats ass, I've seen better positions in a political debate. (ubinrude@peoplepc.com)

Hey...no fair guessing what's in their Fall line-up...

Maybe if we made one good porno flick, we could end up on this show. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)