Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 17 Oct 07)
Really Bad Signs Your Date Is a Cheapskate
He thinks that an "elegant, formal dining experience" includes a black "spork". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
As he drives around looking for a place to take you to dinner, he keeps mumbling, "Nope, no drive-thru window in THIS one..." (email@example.com)
He takes you to humormeonline instead of a comedy club. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
"Dinner and a movie" turns out to be samples at the grocery store and some damn foreign film at the library. (email@example.com)
Instead of ordering his meal, he walks over to another table and asks "hey buddy, you gonna eat that?" (firstname.lastname@example.org) Hey, you from Jersey?
Before I met her I'd never heard of Spam Tartare. (email@example.com)
Upon getting romantic, you notice he is wearing his underwear inside out and there is a nice little stain up the back. (KittysKorner70@aol.com)
Brings an extra bag to your date at Taco Bell just to max out on sauce packets. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He takes you to an amusement park, but only buys tickets for the rides for himself. (email@example.com) Well, duh...SOMEONE has to film all the fun he's having!
Leaves a smaller tip than a mohel would get. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You have to pick pocket lint off the popcorn. (email@example.com)
Brings microwave popcorn and generic soda, then parks outside the drive-in bragging about his lip-reading skills. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Are there even still drive-ins?
The only chef he knows is "Boy-R-Dee." (GerriHan65@aol.com)
He wears flip flops so you won't be allowed in the more expensive restaurants. (email@example.com)
His condoms look really thin and have "Happy Birthday" on the side of them. (Dspur57098@aol.com)
You're married (firstname.lastname@example.org) Yes, this is a given.
Makes you go halfsies on the hooker for the threesome you planned. (email@example.com)
The flowers he brought you say "beloved aunt"... (firstname.lastname@example.org) It's a step up from the ones he gave you after his day at the races.
For your birthday he gives you a necklace that looks just like the one you thought you lost 3 weeks ago. (email@example.com)
Asks how much he has to spend before you'll put out, before the date. (DOrr221@comcast.net) Believe it or not...I actually had a guy ask me this once.
"Why pay 100 dollars to see Les Miserables when we can download the script and act it out here for free?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
When you eat Mexican, she has a special purse with a "salsa compartment". (email@example.com) Is salsa supposed to taste coppery, or is that also her "loose penny" compartment?
Sends you 12 red rose flower seeds for your birthday. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Suggests that instead of going out to see a movie, you save money by simply getting jobs at the same theatre. (email@example.com)
He tries to convince you that McDonald's now offers some pretty healthy salads. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Yeah, but do THEY have black sporks??
He still has the first dollar he ever earned - along with all the rest of them. (email@example.com)
Says he's gonnna dine you like royalty and takes you to Burger King. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Trolls the back alleys for used condoms. (email@example.com) Could be worse, he could be stealing the ones they staple up on the bulletin boards at the free clinics. Eh...come to think of it, no it can't.
Dining on a "buy one, get one free" coupon wasn't that bad until he announced that his was the "free one". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Says that IHOP at 4:00 AM is the new hip club scene. (email@example.com)
I think the key words here are "you both need"...
For his 12-foot-long "Limo" you both need exact change. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
It was part of the exclusive "Larry the Cable Guy" fashion line...
He bought a tuxedo at Wal-Mart. (email@example.com)