Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 18 Jan 08)

Leis hasn't been feeling very well and he's recouperating...and until he gets better, I'm just going to go it alone.

Really Bad Excuses To Give When Getting Caught Looking at Porn at Work and/or Home

Apparently, semen is an excellent keyboard cleaner! (scalpel@aol.com)

Checking out how well the antivirus program works. (kirstenlmsw@gmail.com)

No really, I was searching for the Hilton hotel in Paris. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

I was looking for HumorMeOnline.com and must have hit a wrong key. (tphyll@aol.com) Okay, this might actually be a legitimate kiss-ass kinda thing this time.

You keep telling me that sex sells. I just wanted to see for how much! (GerriHan65@aol.com)

I'm making a list of sites to add to the site blocker, so my kids don't run across them. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com)

I swear those aren't breasts, they are just some very strange fried eggs on an IHOP web site. (GerriHan65@aol.com)

I was just looking for a better 'spread sheet' than we have in this accounting firm. (maxcel200@aol.com) Or if you were in the Department of Defense you could have been looking at some "DD forms".

Hey, it's the only picture I have of Mom! (muhltrayne@yahoo.com)

I accidentally clicked an ad banner at weather.com. (jnmcda0@yahoo.com) Actually, and this is a true story...I alerted Weather.com to the fact they had a link to a "dating" site on their home page...right there like: "Flu Report, Gardening Info, Allergy Map, Hook Up With Hot Chicks, Weather Alerts and Notices". They took it down in about 20 minutes.

Honey, this makes me appreciate your decency all the more. (edprocoat@msn.com)

I don't have an answer but I really need to print this list when it comes out. (DOrr221@comcast.net) Proving once again that not only is HMO fun to play...but also educational.

Yes, what I'm looking at is Japanese, but it's helping me learn how to work with my katana! (Stevothehuman@gmail.com)

I was exersizing my prostate health? (guitartexn@aol.com) Hmmm...you must mean "extra-sizing" or "sexercising", don't you?

Honest, Boss, it was a productivity enhancement thing. I just clicked on a message offering to improve my hard drive. (skibip@aol.com)

My sister put up her new page and I was just telling her how proud I was... (ka_isersoze@yahoo.com) Related to muhltrayne by any chance?

I was only trying to find out if there were any missionary positions available. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

I'm looking at people who have six figure salaries....36,22,36. That's six figures. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com)

Since this anti-porn software I'm testing is a beta, I've found a lot of holes. (mr_didgers@hotmail.com)

I'm doing research on deviant religious groups, but every time I look for sects this stuff comes up. (tphyll@aol.com)

Hustler? I thought it was a billiards magazine. (vinyllover45@yahoo.com) Insert your own "pocket pool" joke here.

I could have sworn doggystyle.com was a pet supply website. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)

Oh! You meant Anal...sys? (seeker@vcoms.net)

Well, sounds like a perfectly honest mistake to me...

Thought I was on the website to reelect Bill Clinton. (l2893s@gmail.com)