Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 1 Mar 08)

Leis hasn't been feeling very well and he's recouperating...and until he gets better, I'm just going to go it alone.

Really Bad Signs America Is Tired of Dumbing Down

Huh? (tphyll@aol.com) I still think it's awesome that President Bush actually plays these contests.

NYC school system now has to rent Madison Square Garden for study hall. (humorbear@aol.com)

Sails of fell chequer halve ink creased buy a laht. (tphyll@aol.com) I think this is unofficially our one-millionth "spell check" entry.

They're lowering the cost of smart cards. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

We're finally getting rid of Dumbya! (GerriHan65@aol.com)

They start having contests where the topics make no sense. (pmacca01@yahoo.co.uk) Speaking of which...

Pig: Oh, we know years ago your husband took Anabolic steroids and became the San Diego Chicken. (humorbear@aol.com) Yep...someone just dumbed down a notch. Um...that contest you were entering at ReBa...just might be "Top Stu".

Officials will now remove the "which of these things are kinda the same" section on the SATs. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Minimum IQ requirement for people who serve the public has been raised to triple digits. (tphyll@aol.com) Are you insane???...No one has an IQ of 300...DUH! Sheesh!

I haven't posted on HMO in months. (grumpchong@gmail.com)

PBS is receiving requests to air its own reality shows. (monacof@bellsouth.net) Oh sure, they might have added a laugh track each time some guy on an ocean documentary says "sperm whale"...but you are still learning, dammit!

"Stop" signs being replaced with "Don't Go" signs. (atwright73@yahoo.com)

Jay Leno's "Battle of the Jaywalk All-Stars" sketch now includes trap doors for the contestants whose one collective brain cell would rattle around like a pinball in a Titmouse's brain. (Onefriendsreply2@aol.com) Hey, you're telling ME? YOU'RE the one watching Leno. ;)

They're beginning to proofread their signs in front of tattoo parlors [aka] Proffessional and Steril Tattoo Parlors. (sadsack59@hotmail.com and YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com respectively)

Enrollment at Arizona State has fallen off markedly. (tpanner@hotmail.com) But enrollment at UNLV has never been higher!

Ever read all the warnings on the side of a ladder? (madavis62@alltel.net)

The movie "Idiocracy" is banned from movie theatres and video rental stores, and "that is NOT O.K.!" (guitartexn@aol.com) If you haven't seen this film, rent it.

Post office clerks no longer ask "Do you want fries with that?" (tphyll@aol.com)

Two whole days without Britney Spears in the news. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) I hate to burst your bubble, but having your power disconnected and not being able to sign online to read the news...doesn't count.

High Def TV. Way smarter than dumb ol' regular TV. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

I'm still debating if this is a step UP...or DOWN from reality shows...

The return of intellectual TV shows like "Knight Rider". (Airfarcewon@aol.com)