Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 20 Apr 08)

Welcome back, Leis!

Really Bad Creative Political Terminology to Call Your Opponent a 'Liar'

He bends the truth slightly more than a 4-way angle iron trying to hold up an M.C. Escher stairway. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

He's a prime example of: No Lie Left Behind. (humorbear@aol.com)

Yes, well, my opponent also frequents HumorMeOnline! (JTulli@Juno.com) Well, Bush never has...he always had trouble putting those "HMO" letters in order. Boy, we'll all miss him when he's not in office anymore. Eh...on second thought, no.

He's a politician's politician. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Conducting a Tall Tale-gate Party (humorbear@aol.com)

His mastery of falsehoods has Satan coveting him. (edprocoat@msn.com)

When my opponent says, "Yeah! That's the ticket!", he isn't referring to his running mate. (rod.renner@juno.com) Okay, tell the truth now: How much did Jon Lovitz pay you to make that reference?

She swears the only double-talk she's ever heard is an echo. (tphyll@aol.com)

Liberal, liberal, pants on fib-eral? (guitartexn@aol.com)

He's like a rodeo cowboy -- he's always throwing the bull. (tphyll@aol.com)

I find my opponents response to be very "Clintonic." (Truckerex@comcast.net)

He weaves his words on the loom of misrepresentation. (edprocoat@msn.com)

He/she's a big fan of NINE Commandments. (stan@squidworks.com) Heck, you'll be lucky to get a politician who is a fan of TWO of them.

You sir, are not uttering "Cherry Tree Chopping Down" language! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

His colorful annunciation betrays the fact that his mind has a definite science fiction propensity. (edprocoat@msn.com)

As you know Hillary wears the pants and they are currently on fire! (DavidGoTribe@aol.com)

His credibility gap is wider than the Grand Canyon. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

A veritable black hole of truth. (seeker@vcoms.net) Well, Bush sure sucked. Oh, yeah, we're gonna miss him...NOT!

My distinguished opponent tells the truth about as often as I have a prostate exam. And I'm a woman. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

What can we say about Pinocchio de Bergerac? (humorbear@aol.com) Nobody nose the trouble I've seen....

He's light on "truthiness." (tphyll@aol.com)

My opponent has a truly impeachable...er...impeccable character. (GerriHan65@aol.com)

I don't know how my opponent can afford all those new pants. (l2893s@gmail.com) Of all those "liar liar..." entries we received, I have to admit this is my personal fav.

He paints his facts as Dali painted still lifes. (edprocoat@msn.com)

On his last campaign stop, he personally pulled the legs off of everyone at the rally. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

The winners:

If "the truth shall set you free"...how come it costs so much to run for office?...

There's a lot of truth coming out of my opponent's campaign....just none of it out of him. (Skibip@aol.com)

Shhhh...if you point that out, we have to think up a new ReBa...

Don't we already do that by using terms "Democrat" and "Republican?" (Jdoveraz@aol.com)