Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 23 Nov 08)

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Really Bad Proposed Changes In The Billy Bob Thornton Remake Of 'A Nightmare On Elm Street'

Again, all these people got doubt Rat's Asses as we announced in the HMO Forum...

Billy Bob Thornton is WAAAAY scarier than Freddie ever thought of being. ( And I don't know why...but he makes me feel good.

The opening scene begins with the inauguration of the newly-elected president and vice president; Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell. (

The monster will be renamed,"Freddy Bob Krueger". ( And he'll co-star with Markie Post and John Ritter (seriously, wasn't that a show?).

The first thing you notice is Freddie is wearing the same stuff Billy Bob wore in "Sling Blade." (

Three words: Billy Bob Thornton. ( Dang, I was afraid someone would catch on!!

Freddie will wear a tattoo that says, "Angelina Forever." (

Adapted to a stage play with Billy Bob as Freddie Krueger, someone in the wings makes the terrible mistake of telling him to "Knock 'em dead!" (

Casting all “little people”...renaming it “Nightmare on Elf Street” and taking place in the North Pole. (; Sounds like something on a "smaller" budget!

Have his five ex-wives make cameo appearances. (

Freddy Kruger will be murdering teenagers and, in the nick of time, saving the world from an impending asteroid collision. ( But...the good news is: Ben Affleck dies in this one. ;)

They only take enough victims' blood for those little vials hanging around Billy's neck. (

The winners:

Shoulda known something was up when the lead girl was named Julie Anne...

Cut 'em up with french-fried potaters...ummmhmmmmm... (;

The only thing scarier than Billy Bob?...

Soundtrack by Yanni. (