Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 27 Sep 06)
Really Bad Euphemisms for Implying Someone Is Utterly Stupid
(Example: 'He's one fry short of a Happy Meal')
(Suggested by AuntShecky711@aol.com)
He lost the popular vote but still got elected anyway. (Kamasushi@gmail.com)
One tire short of a unicycle. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He's a man. Do I need to say anything else? (email@example.com) Yes, you will have to explain this to him as well. :)
So dumb, blondes tell jokes about him. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He is one Rat's Ass short of an Origami. (email@example.com)
This guy thinks manual labor is a Spanish guitarist. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
She's one dot.com short of a website. (email@example.com) I'm one dot short of a sentence <----see?
He'd try to buy a plastic money tree with his credit card. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The only brain waves he gets are good-byes. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
A few numbers short of a Zip code. (email@example.com)
You're one Midichlorian short of being a Jedi. (Mistahtom@aol.com) You know - uh...I'm not EVEN going to look THIS one up - I'll take your word for it.
He's a helmet wearing, little bus riding, window licker. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
There's only one more flush left on her Tidy Bowl. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
He's not an idiot, but he plays one in real life. (CoyPsyche@aol.com)
They're not the sharpest spoon in the drawer (PAdams002@hotmail.com) But they ARE a plastic Spork, so it evens out...
One signal bar short of good reception. (Mistahtom@aol.com)
He's one brain cell short of one brain cell. (email@example.com)
He was the cat's ass but some of his lives were missing. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
She's a couple dwarfs short of a Disney movie. (email@example.com) Hey, but dwarves are already short...hmmm....
She's two ounces short of a full toner cartridge. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He's one semicolon short of a PASCAL statement. (email@example.com) Oh, yeah...like I even GET this one.
He can't find a buckle for his asteroid belt. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He's got a brain like Einstein...dead. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
He thinks a singles bar is any bar with a jukebox. (email@example.com)
Her deck has too many jokers in it. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He has a talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes. (CoyPsyche@aol.com) I'm still working on figuring this one out, too.
Even when he wears loafers he needs help tying his shoelaces. (email@example.com)
He can't even get the ANSWERS correct on Jeopardy. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
One crayon short of being the sharpest knife in the six pack. (email@example.com) Aha! Ingenuity!
He wouldn't even get the point in a fencing match (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
He's one hole short of a doughnut. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
We call him Art, yeah he's two letters shy of being Smart. (email@example.com)
The cheese fell off their cracker a long time ago. (firstname.lastname@example.org) That was a gouda joke!
That guy is one virgin short of a Star Trek Convention. (email@example.com)
All of his dogs aren't barking. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
He's as slow as humormeonline updates. (email@example.com) Ouch!
If you told him a joke and it went over his head, he'd look up for it. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
His extension cord doesn't quit reach the outlet. (email@example.com)
He's a few scandals short of a Kennedy. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
She's about a shade light in the gray matter. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Make mine Grey Goose...and yes, it DOES matter.
He's about as sharp as the point in a George Bush speech. (ReineDeDouleur@yahoo.com)
His biscuits are done. They're just a little more flaky than most. (email@example.com)
His ant colony is loaded with aardvarks. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wait...running for office requires ANY brain cells???
He's one brain cell short of being eligible to run for Congress. (YukiMerricoon@aol.com)
Kinda like her head...pretty on the outside but mostly air and filler inside...
The last time she thought outside the box..it was about cereal. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)