Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 28 Nov 06)

Really Bad Signs Our Country Is Getting Way Too Crowded
(Suggested by

At McDonald's, you can't get fries with that. (

Your average lost and found now requires an hour trip by golf cart. (

The term "rush hour" has been replaced with "rush four hours". (

It seems everyone has a wacky website, including people from Alabama!!! ( Dammit...I'm FROM New Jersey...I just live in Alabama.

The Statue of Liberty has replaced her torch with a sign that says "Sorry, We're Closed." (

J-Lo is not allowed in the state of Rhode Island ( Oh look...a J-Lo "ass" joke - we haven't seen one of those in a while...I think we here at HMO should single-handedly bring back J-Lo's ass. Okay...well, we'd have to use more than ONE hand...but you know.

Only one teacher to every 738 students. (

UFOs have a waiting list for abductees. (

Marathon races are being run sideways ( Instead of "neck and neck", runners are now "elbow and elbow".

I'm subletting my walk-in closet to a bunch of foreigners. (

L.A.'s air pollution is killing me...and I live in New York. (

Congressmen are being forced out of the closet, because there's only so much room in there. ( Well...they could try subletting from Maxcel.

Northern Saskatchewan starts to look like a pretty good place to live for Texans. (

Impossible to place in the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest (except for certain people around here). ( got it...I am going to milk this puppy until I die. ;)

You can only book one-way flights from the U.S. to other countries. (

You're able to shop at Walmart without leaving home. ( I'm sorry - if you would have said "buy a coffee at Starbucks" I would have believed you.

Since yes, I really do think I own the whole damn road, EVERYBODY ELSE GET OFF MY INTERSTATE!!! (

You have to pair up with someone at a public urinal. ( Yeah least that's what you keep TELLING them.

Instead of sending this entry via the Internet, I'll just print it out and have it passed person to person to you. (

Matches are now used much more to get rid of fumes, not start them! (

When a tree falls in the forest... there is always someone there to hear it make a sound ( Besides the tree-huggers?

Roseanne Barr goes on a singing concert tour, and every appearance is sold out. (

Evangelists embrace homosexuals...literally. ( Well, one's feeling pretty "haggard" these days.

There are so many entries for each category at HMO, that it takes days, even weeks, to go thru them all to find a winner. (;

Hey move your head! I can't see the computer screen. (

Government is considering using exponential notation on Social Security Numbers. (

You can hire professional shoppers at Target. ( Now that's sad - almost as sad as pronouncing it "Tar-zhey".

Sardines would rather stay IN the can! (

Even the cockroaches are leaving. (

Crowded? Then how come there are fewer decent men than ever? ( *cough* I'm single. *cough*

You can't run a sell-swamp-land scam. People are living there. (

What do you mean we ate all the cows? ( I don't know why - but this one really made me laugh.

Movie stars are adopting AMERICAN children. (

We're starting to smell like France. ( Hey, I didn't say it!!

There's a McDonald's in the Taco Bell. (

The winners:

Yup, even the ReBa list is overcrowded this week...

You go out to your mailbox for today's mail, and when you re-enter your house you find that three families have moved in. (

And to find a place where you could actually park your car, huh?...

I went to the mall the day after Thanksgiving just to get some elbow room. (