Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 29 May 07)

Really Bad Jobs For Bill Clinton If Hillary Becomes President

I guess he'd be the First Gentleman, huh? That'd be new for him! ;) (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com; GerriHan65@aol.com)

Makeup Man...oh wait, he already does that on a regular basis! (maxcel200@aol.com) "Sorry, Hillary...here's some flowers. Sorry, Hillary...how about a foot rub? Sorry, Hillary..."

Hillary's not worried about his bad jobs. He'll be in focus 24/7 from Satellite to Earth cameras. (humorbear@aol.com)

Head of Internal Affairs (rod.renner@juno.com) Yes, you were the only one who used your "head" with an intern...al...well, you know, besides Bill. Sounds like a job that really....blows?

Bill will take requests as he plays the sax going table to table during state dinners. (humorbear@aol.com) I think this is the job that really blows. ;)

Official bag packer. Oh, yeah, he'll probably also help Hillary get her suitcases ready when she goes on trips, too. (ParisIuvsMe@aol.com) Hey, now...Hillary isn't ugly enough to be called a 'bag'. If she were he'd be hitting on her. Think about it! ;)

He won't get that much to do. His term in office was overblown. (tphyll@aol.com)

Department of Underwear Security (archerjoe@hotmail.com) Fastening, wedgie reduction, hole repair...

Chairman for S-Anon...a 12 step group for relatives and friends of sexually addicted people. (deborah.pittenger@sbcglobal.net)

Head of the Department on Abstinence Education (stan@squidworks.com) "Just say 'no' which really means 'yes', right?"

Foodtaster (Eleman8859@aol.com; Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

Party Host for visiting diplomats, or better known as Hooter Honcho. (guitartexn@aol.com) At his age, the biggest hooters are now his!

Nancy Pelosi's pool boy. (tpanner@hotmail.com)

Secretary of Infidelity (Del.Banks@gmail.com) No, no, no - that's "infidels".

Vices President (maxcel200@aol.com)

Replace David Hasselhoff on 'America's Got Talent'. (lhill@bryant.edu) "Would you like some fries with that burger on the floor?"

Ambassador to Antarctica. He should be used to the conditions there...just like the bedroom at home. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) "Sir Edmund Hillary...meet Hillary." Oh, c'mon and laugh, it's a pole joke. Get it..."pole"? Oh, don't make me come there and smack you.

In charge of Homeland Security in Las Vegas. He'd run Strip searches. (tphyll@aol.com) Cute.

Cuban Embargo Director (scalpel@aol.com; Kamasushi@gmail.com)

The winners:

And I'm sure "recounting" them if it happens...

Counting the monkeys that come flying out of my ass. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

Tricky Bill has an artistic side...who knew?...

Named as America's new Poet Laureate. "There once was a man from Nantucket...." (odinsonthewise@yahoo.com)