Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 29 May 07)

Really Bad Jobs For Bill Clinton If Hillary Becomes President

I guess he'd be the First Gentleman, huh? That'd be new for him! ;) (;

Makeup Man...oh wait, he already does that on a regular basis! ( "Sorry,'s some flowers. Sorry, about a foot rub? Sorry, Hillary..."

Hillary's not worried about his bad jobs. He'll be in focus 24/7 from Satellite to Earth cameras. (

Head of Internal Affairs ( Yes, you were the only one who used your "head" with an, you know, besides Bill. Sounds like a job that really....blows?

Bill will take requests as he plays the sax going table to table during state dinners. ( I think this is the job that really blows. ;)

Official bag packer. Oh, yeah, he'll probably also help Hillary get her suitcases ready when she goes on trips, too. ( Hey, now...Hillary isn't ugly enough to be called a 'bag'. If she were he'd be hitting on her. Think about it! ;)

He won't get that much to do. His term in office was overblown. (

Department of Underwear Security ( Fastening, wedgie reduction, hole repair...

Chairman for S-Anon...a 12 step group for relatives and friends of sexually addicted people. (

Head of the Department on Abstinence Education ( "Just say 'no' which really means 'yes', right?"

Foodtaster (;

Party Host for visiting diplomats, or better known as Hooter Honcho. ( At his age, the biggest hooters are now his!

Nancy Pelosi's pool boy. (

Secretary of Infidelity ( No, no, no - that's "infidels".

Vices President (

Replace David Hasselhoff on 'America's Got Talent'. ( "Would you like some fries with that burger on the floor?"

Ambassador to Antarctica. He should be used to the conditions there...just like the bedroom at home. ( "Sir Edmund Hillary." Oh, c'mon and laugh, it's a pole joke. Get it..."pole"? Oh, don't make me come there and smack you.

In charge of Homeland Security in Las Vegas. He'd run Strip searches. ( Cute.

Cuban Embargo Director (;

The winners:

And I'm sure "recounting" them if it happens...

Counting the monkeys that come flying out of my ass. (

Tricky Bill has an artistic side...who knew?...

Named as America's new Poet Laureate. "There once was a man from Nantucket...." (