Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 2 Aug 08)
Really Bad Things That Are Going to Happen on 21 December 2012 Other Than Total World Destruction
Trash day. (email@example.com)
The word "nuclear" will have its official pronunciation become "nuke-u-lar." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Britney Spears will be elected President of the United States. (email@example.com) Oops, I voted again!
Every library, the world over, will revoke its amnesty policy. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Got some really bad news for you. The world is not going to end then. It's going to continue on just like it is today. (email@example.com) Gee...you really know how to cheer up a person.
Oprah eats her audience. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
95% of men won't have finished their Christmas shopping. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)
I will finally experience sex with another person in the room. (email@example.com)
Extraterrestrial invaders will leave, saying "It just isn't worth it." (firstname.lastname@example.org) Riiiight...like it's really worth it now.
NBC's 2012 Olympic coverage of 15,000 hours will wind down, and reruns will begin. (email@example.com)
While celebrating his 56th birthday on the set of "24", Kiefer Sutherland will utter the tired cliche "I'm getting too old for this shit" (DLivermore2002@yahoo.com)
We're all gonna be a lot older; and might even be dead! (WJKbase@aol.com) Well at least a lot older.
Dick Clark will sign up for another New Year's show. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I'll be late with my Christmas shopping once again. (email@example.com)
A change in tradition....Instead of milk, children will leave a case of beer for Santa Claus and he will have to call for a designated elf to drive the sleigh. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I believe Christmas will be cancelled on account of "rain, dear".
You don't get to the Pearly Gates. You spend eternity with Bill Gates. (GerriHan65@aol.com)
Hugh Hefner FINALLY runs out of sperm. (email@example.com) Thank you for that visual which is now emblazoned IN MY MIND until...well, until the 21st of December 2012.
Instant teleportation to a safe world is implemented, but they're only up to P-T and your last name is Zygote. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Jane Fonda will be 75 years old..oh, you said bad things.. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) No, this would've been worse if she were doing a "Barbarella" sequel!
Another friggin' boring winter solstice. (email@example.com)
Barry Manilow pulls a "Pat Boone," and starts singing Metallica and Megadeth songs at Indian Casinos as a headliner for the Captain and Tennille. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
There will be a grand opening sale of beach-front homes in Nevada. (email@example.com) ...followed by...
Three Great Whites are spotted offshore in Carson City, Nevada. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
France begins "tactical withdrawal" in continuing war with Monaco. (email@example.com)
If it's anything like my girlfriends' PMS, it might be a welcome event. (firstname.lastname@example.org) So, what you're telling us is you LIKE it when she has PMS??
Oh, great! My Mastercard bill is due on the 20th. (email@example.com; CoyPsyche@aol.com)
Stocks will close slightly down... for good. (LouMizzou@yahoo.com)
Jeb Bush will be settling down in the White House. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Wait, Jeb married Britney Spears??? ROFL Leis...this sounds like a plotline for "Idiocracy 2".
If we're not very careful, total Milky Way galaxy destruction. (email@example.com)
Newborns are gonna be pissed. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You notice in your homeowners insurance policy that damages are not covered in the event of total world destruction. (Truckerex@comcast.net)
"Armageddon Madness Sale" at K-mart. (email@example.com) Hey, is that a "Blue Light Special" or a supernova?
My 1 and 2 keys on my computer are going to totally crap out. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
My wife is still gonna make me drag the tree up from the basement. (email@example.com)
Is that 12/12/2012, 12/21/2021, 21/12/2012...oh, just screw it, here's my Visa...
Pandemonium will erupt when people can't figure out how to write that on a check. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
As long as it's not that weird-ass "Star Wars" TV special...
A re-run of the Donnie and Marie Christmas Special circa 1977. (email@example.com)