Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 2 May 06)

Really Bad Reasons President Bush Is Giving for the Rising Gas Prices

Start approving of me first, then I'll get you your $.87/gallon back. (

Weapons of Gas Destruction (

He's trying to pony up enough cash to make a rocket ship...there's BOUND to be LOTS of Weapons of Mass Destruction on the moon! (

Finish the sentence to your own liking: "It's because Al Gore......" ( "...has a brain twice my size?"

"Two simple words: higher prices. Heh. Heh." (;

It looks like I'm going to need a good lawyer and hey, they don't come cheap. (

Poor people are consuming too much fuel driving to their crappy jobs and back and forth to the clinic because they can't afford health care. (

Cheney needs a transfusion again. ( "Oil can"...needs a heart...Bush needs the brain...oh I could go on and on but I'd have to put my Pink Floyd album on.

The companies need revenue to cover benefits for the descendants of the fossils that produced the fuel... (

It's caused by mobile warming. ( Well, rest assured, I plan to remain entirely immobile during this crisis!

I'm trying to make more gas, but Rumsfeld can only pull my finger so often. (

It just breaks my heart to see impoverished Americans like the oil companies suffering because they only made $9 billion dollars last month. ( Okay, all together now: Awwwwwwwww...

He's using them to pay off our national debt::coughs::(bullshit):: (

If we make the oil companies rich enough, they will employ more people and thus jump start the economy. (

There's a shortage of big plastic ones and twos for gas station price signs. ( This actually might work...oh c'mon half the people voted for him a second time, after all.

Barrels cost money, you know. (

The winners: long as you add at least one "Y'all!" in there somewhere...

What Texan wouldn't say, "let them eat cake." (

"See...this way, me, Daddy, Cheney...and all our friends win..."

If we don't raise the price, THEY win. (