Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 4 Jul 08)
All these people get double Rat's Asses - because, because, well...you guys really need to read the forum once in a while.
Really Bad Things a Bartender Says That Sound Naughty, But Aren't
(Suggested by email@example.com)
Don't worry buddy, I'll give you a nice stiff one that'll make you forget all about your ex-wife. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
She drinks a Will Roger's Cocktail--that's her mood drink in that she never meets a man she didn't like. (email@example.com) Well, I have to admit, it's better than Fred Rogers!
Slow comfortable screw up against the wall? That'll be $3.50. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Do you come here often? (email@example.com)
Sure, you can eat my nuts. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You won't mind licking the rim if there's sugar on it. (email@example.com)
Can I offer you a Slippery Nipple? (firstname.lastname@example.org) Just one?
Harvey Wallbanger's coming!! (email@example.com)
They don't go down until Happy Hour. (firstname.lastname@example.org) ...which is why they call it "Happy Hour". DUH!
I'd love to see you girls come again tomorrow night. (Airfarcewon@aol.com; email@example.com)
Excuse me ma'am, are you in need of another tea bag? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Would you like a Saint Pauli girl? (email@example.com) I'm more into Sam Adams myself.
Hi, Honey. Would you like that stiff? (firstname.lastname@example.org) Nah, it's pretty much been that way for a month.
Let me give you a highball. (email@example.com)
Sex on the beach! Is that all women want? (firstname.lastname@example.org; GerriHan65@aol.com)
Haven't I given you enough Screaming Orgasms tonight, Mom? (email@example.com) Um....MOM???
Bottoms up! (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
That's a sticky mess...let me get you a towel. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Boy, if I had a dollar for every time I heard this...ummm...I'd have about $3.00.
Waitress, take care of that Suffering Bastard. (email@example.com)
Mind if I salt your rim? (firstname.lastname@example.org; Jdoveraz@aol.com) Salt your...? Um, never mind, I don't want to know THAT badly!!
I really do need to tap that! (DavidGoTribe@aol.com)
Every day at Happy Hour we put our nuts on the bar. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) And every nite we pick them up off the floor.
I need a stiff one, hold the rocks. (email@example.com)
So...you got that black eye when you said...
Would you like me to squeeze your lemons for you? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Yep, if you overdo it, it just dribbles all over the place...
It took a while to learn how to give just the right amount of head but I find I get bigger tips as a result... (email@example.com)