Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 5 Apr 07)
Really Bad Results of Designing Your Wedding Around a Disney Theme
(Suggested by AuntShecky711@aol.com)
No bride wants a bunch of stuff around that's cuter than she is! (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)
Hunters accidentally shoot her mother at the practice ceremony held in that beautiful meadow location you picked. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Since it's your second marriage, you just use everything over again, a la Disney's direct to video sequels. (email@example.com)
Endless "Beauty and the Beast" references from in-laws. (firstname.lastname@example.org) ...and everyone else.
It hurts all the cartoon animals' feelings if you serve meat. (email@example.com)
It's pretty hard to walk down the aisle dressed as a mermaid. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Everyone gets sick from inhaling too much pixie dust. (email@example.com) See, I tried to tell them--rice is better to throw! (and safer)
Another damned set of Cruella DeVil sheets. Thanks a lot! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wife Sings "It's a Small World" during Honeymoon. (email@example.com)
The main course of duck dressed in a sailor suit just doesn't sit well with the guests! (firstname.lastname@example.org) Especially since you left the darned talking head on!
All the staff the asylum murmur and giggle behind your back. (email@example.com)
It wasn't the wedding so much as the fact he insisted our honeymoon also be rated "G". (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Sure, a clamshell bikini top is sexy, but now the bottom half is going to smell that way all night. (email@example.com)
Your future mother-in-law might resent being the 'Wicked Witch.' (WJKbase@aol.com) Damned good one...too bad The Wizard of Oz was put out by MGM.
Groom chooses to dress like Donald Duck...shirt, but no pants. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
The ushers are Horny, Sleezy, Smelly, Grabby, Druggie, Rowdy and Dopey. The bridesmaids are Clingy, Giggly, Portly, Needy, Gloomy, Tipsy and Grumpy. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Sounds like the last "singles" cruise I took.
Great-aunt Edna faints at the sight of the "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" centerpieces on the tables at the reception. (G.Anderson4245@comcast.net)
Exchange of vows takes 3 hours as everyone tries valiantly to keep a straight face when the priest decides to dress like, and sound like Donald Duck. (email@example.com)
Nobody over the age of 3 wants to come. (CoyPsyche@aol.com) But makes it a lot easier when you have to choose who sits at the "kiddie table".
The royalty fees alone are enough to bankrupt a third-world nation. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
You'll end up marrying someone totally two-dimensional. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Yes, but you can always say you were "drawn" to him...
Your wedding will always be remembered as a "Mickey Mouse" affair. (CoyPsyche@aol.com; email@example.com)
Very difficult to find a ring that will fit a Mickey Mouse style oversized white glove. (firstname.lastname@example.org) How long do you think Minnie will keep believing THAT excuse?
The hour-and-a-half wait in line to ride "The Bride." (email@example.com) I'd do a "Matterhorny" joke but that would be too obvious...plus I'd have to think of it first. ;)
"Look, it's mini-mouse!" are words that no man wants to hear on his honeymoon. (TheEyeWit@yahoo.com)
The bride catches the groom messing around with "Bambi" at the reception. (firstname.lastname@example.org) He should be shot!
The life-size ice sculpture of Walt Disney...oh, wait, that's his frozen corpse. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hey! That's what I did at MY wedding! I guess it's a small world after all. (email@example.com)
Well, the high points were spotty at best...
Afterwards, guests will forever refer to it as, "One Hundred And One Dullmoments". (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
I'm shocked that no one made any obscene "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" jokes this week...
Long lines, ten-dollar bottles of water and crappy Churros at reception. (firstname.lastname@example.org)