Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 5 Apr 07)

Really Bad Results of Designing Your Wedding Around a Disney Theme
(Suggested by

No bride wants a bunch of stuff around that's cuter than she is! (

Hunters accidentally shoot her mother at the practice ceremony held in that beautiful meadow location you picked. (

Since it's your second marriage, you just use everything over again, a la Disney's direct to video sequels. (

Endless "Beauty and the Beast" references from in-laws. ( ...and everyone else.

It hurts all the cartoon animals' feelings if you serve meat. (

It's pretty hard to walk down the aisle dressed as a mermaid. (

Everyone gets sick from inhaling too much pixie dust. ( See, I tried to tell them--rice is better to throw! (and safer)

Another damned set of Cruella DeVil sheets. Thanks a lot! (

Wife Sings "It's a Small World" during Honeymoon. (

The main course of duck dressed in a sailor suit just doesn't sit well with the guests! ( Especially since you left the darned talking head on!

All the staff the asylum murmur and giggle behind your back. (

It wasn't the wedding so much as the fact he insisted our honeymoon also be rated "G". (

Sure, a clamshell bikini top is sexy, but now the bottom half is going to smell that way all night. (

Your future mother-in-law might resent being the 'Wicked Witch.' ( Damned good one...too bad The Wizard of Oz was put out by MGM.

Groom chooses to dress like Donald Duck...shirt, but no pants. (;

The ushers are Horny, Sleezy, Smelly, Grabby, Druggie, Rowdy and Dopey. The bridesmaids are Clingy, Giggly, Portly, Needy, Gloomy, Tipsy and Grumpy. ( Sounds like the last "singles" cruise I took.

Great-aunt Edna faints at the sight of the "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" centerpieces on the tables at the reception. (

Exchange of vows takes 3 hours as everyone tries valiantly to keep a straight face when the priest decides to dress like, and sound like Donald Duck. (

Nobody over the age of 3 wants to come. ( But makes it a lot easier when you have to choose who sits at the "kiddie table".

The royalty fees alone are enough to bankrupt a third-world nation. (;

You'll end up marrying someone totally two-dimensional. ( Yes, but you can always say you were "drawn" to him...

Your wedding will always be remembered as a "Mickey Mouse" affair. (;

Very difficult to find a ring that will fit a Mickey Mouse style oversized white glove. ( How long do you think Minnie will keep believing THAT excuse?

The hour-and-a-half wait in line to ride "The Bride." ( I'd do a "Matterhorny" joke but that would be too I'd have to think of it first. ;)

"Look, it's mini-mouse!" are words that no man wants to hear on his honeymoon. (

The bride catches the groom messing around with "Bambi" at the reception. ( He should be shot!

The life-size ice sculpture of Walt Disney...oh, wait, that's his frozen corpse. (;

Hey! That's what I did at MY wedding! I guess it's a small world after all. (

The winners:

Well, the high points were spotty at best...

Afterwards, guests will forever refer to it as, "One Hundred And One Dullmoments". (

I'm shocked that no one made any obscene "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" jokes this week...

Long lines, ten-dollar bottles of water and crappy Churros at reception. (