Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 9 Feb 08)

Leis hasn't been feeling very well and he's recouperating...and until he gets better, I'm just going to go it alone.

Really Bad Side Effects From Eating Cloned Meat
(Suggested by Maxcel200@aol.com)

Global warming. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com)

Weird Al songs from the 80s keep popping into your head. (scalpel@aol.com)

Get a sense of deja-moo when eating hamburgers. (archerjoe@hotmail.com; mitchwatts@yahoo.com)

All of your turds are identical. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com; tygrkhat40@yahoo.com) ...but will we really need this then?...

A new vial for your stool gauge. (shep@compascable.net) Ah, yes...the great stool gauge...this one will probably be referenced for contests to come.

Insomnia...makes you feel like there are twice as many sheep to count before you can fall asleep. (maxcel200@aol.com)

I don't see that many ill effects from eating cloned meat, but the dairy industry will have a fun time explaining what they really mean by double cream! (GerriHan65@aol.com) Oh, like you, me and ONE other person out there who cooks will even GET this one.

My only daughter was born left handed; all four of 'em. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com) On the bright side...she has six mouths for each of her thumbs.

No matter what you eat it seems to always repeat on you. (edprocoat@msn.com; sadsack59@hotmail.com)

Rachel Ray will come up with a 30-minute meal called "Deja Stew." (gerg17@comcast.net) Oh, thanks, another cloned show out of her.

When you pass gas, there are echoes. (gerg17@comcast.net)

I would never eat it! I have an unnatural fear of clones. (ankle_jay@comcast.net) Out of all the clown entries...this one was least like the others. Ha! Now THAT'S irony!

Twice the calories for half a plate. (tphyll@aol.com)

Male fascination with twins hits overload. (seeker@vcoms.net) Oh, right...like males need a reason to be fascinated with things that come in pairs.

Somewhere out there, an identical cow is planning your death. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

Strong aversion to sex. (e-merlin001@hotmail.com) Come to think of it...there are some perks.

Your double cheeseburger now has four times the cholesterol. (GerriHan65@aol.com)

Double pneumonia. (Get it...double...because there's an identical...cow...never mind.) (tpanner@hotmail.com) Oh, c'mon...you can do better than that...how about "'Double-e'-coli"? "e-COli"? "Double broncow pneumonia?" Eh...okay, maybe you can't after all.

An hour after you finish eating the ethical dilemma sets in. (CoyPsyche@aol.com)

When you go to Kinko's, it smells like a slaughterhouse. (gerg17@comcast.net) If it smells anything like those purple mimeograph machine copies of my youth...hell, I'm there!

Putting it in Tupperware makes it react just like it's still in a Petri dish. (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

The winners:

Hey, I have a great Presidential slogan..."A chicken in every pot..."...oh wait...maybe that's been done before...

Everything really does taste like chicken... 'cause it's the same chicken. (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com)

And the second winner I picked...because...well...this IS a clone topic this time around...

Feeling beside yourself. (arch_deceiver@hotmail.com)