Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 10 Mar 03)

Really Bad Things Heard On the Maiden Flight of Hooters Airlines

Mommy, why are yours so small, and hers are so delightfully large? (uzdkar@aol.com)

No, they can NOT be used as a floatation device..... (Jokerzgirl77@aol.com; Truckerex@wmconnect.com) Yes, this is the token "floatation" entry.

It's great viewing all this white puffiness up here..and the clouds are nice, too! (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be frying at 20,000 feet. (l1061s@go.com)

Don't worry about hijacking, we couldn't give this plane away. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM) The fact that it's a bi-plane doesn't help...and PLEASE, no "bi jokes"...

Well, at least the beer's not flat! (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

This is the captain speaking..."Due to recent pressure to get a more gender diverse workplace, today's flight will be attended by some of our newest crew members Jeff, George and Bill. Have a nice flight and thank you for choosing Hooters Air." (AnthrStupdSN@aol.com)

Sure they're fake but so is my smile. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

On Hooters..everybody loves de Lays! (Baitsmotel6@aol.com) I would make a joke about "nobody can eat just one"...but that would be overkill.

Flight attendants, please prepare for takeoff... of the plane, this time... (laugh@starpower.net)

"We're going down!" (depending on the actual meaning, it might be really good...) (DarkFrost@aol.com)

"Paffengrs, we wilf be leafing shotly as sfoon as the captain finifshises my oralf examf". (swallow hard) (guitartexn@aol.com)

Coffee, tea or foreplay? (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com) Gee, let me think about it.

There's more than just my seat in its upright position! (KANNi8LKL0wN@aol.com)

At Hooters..It's not when they take off...It's what they take off! (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

Do You think Hooters will go bust? (Honz5@aol.com) I am sure the news will keep us abreast of this situation, especially if it happens in no time flat...but, they will probably blow it way out of proportion. (Okay, okay I will stop.)

Uh, miss, could you please help me get my nuts out of their package? (Bubbles@PowerPuff.com)

"The captain has now turned off the No-Gawking sign." (RodentsRred@hotmail.com)

Pilot to co-pilot "I'd feel alot better if they replaced those tassles with propellers". (mykehalpinstudio@aol.com) Where do you stuff the dollar bills?

This is your frycook..er..I mean..Captain, speaking... (trlymurph@aol.com)

"Cream Sir?".... "Uh, I already did." (jeriandgeo@aol.com)

We'll be taking off just as soon as they finish de-saucing the wings. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

The winners:

"Uh, miss, could I have more jiggle...er...Jell-o..."

"Excuse me, Captain, but the passengers are requesting more turbulence...." (tomcnagy@hotmail.com)

A special thanks to AppletonLaw, for not being one of the thousand or so to submit a "flotation device" joke:

And I thought flying Virgin Airlines was great! (AppletonLaw@aol.com)