Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 11 Aug 03)

Really Bad Questions They Left Off the Census

Firstly, yes I'm back from the hospital.... Secondly: Do you know how HARD it is to have your surgeon reverse a sex-change??

Remember that one episode of 'Batman' when Liberace was the villain? [Y/N] (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Okay, we could understand one bathroom entry...but TWO???...

When doing your daily business, do you flush, 1x__2x__3x or more___? (check one) (tackajoey@aol.com)

On the average, how many times a day do you flush your toilet? If the answer is more than ten, please include a detailed explanation of the problem, as we could all use a good laugh around here. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Have you seen any of the following people: Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, Santa Claus. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) ...it's like a family reunion!

So Timmy, do you like gladiator movies? (jaynashvil@aol.com)

Love it or leave it. Agree or Disagree (SSCompose@aol.com)

If sex with animals were illegal would you still have the same address? (seeker@vcoms.net) Note to self: Pay attention to seeker@vcoms.net's entries from now on...alert PETA.

Number of STD's contracted this year. (rose_justice@msn.com)

Are you hot? (rpearson@umr.edu) Mr. Clinton, please go home...

Where were you born; if from any nation ending in "istan" please attached report to the Department of Homeland Security. (kaylor@mail.com)

Where were you on the night of October 15, 1998 at or around 4 A.M? (kaylor@mail.com) Uh, with your wife...why?

Tastes great or less filling? (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be? (joseph.blevins@verizon.net) So that's what Barbara Walters has been up to.

Do you know where in the constitution the Census is ordered? (kaylor@mail.com)

Are you married, or happy? (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) Happy....VERY happy!

Hey, what's that thing creeping up behind you? Ha! Made you look! Just a little Census humor. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Do you have any Weapons of Mass Destruction? (FreeLooseDirt@sbcglobal.net) Does stuff in my fridge count?

What are your turn-offs/turn-ons? (laugh@starpower.net)

The winners:

Whew...for a minute there I thought they were going to ask about the basement!...

How many family members, collecting Social Security, are buried in the back yard? (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Is that a banjo I hear?

Have you ever 'hit the sheets' with your sister? (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)