Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 11 Aug 05)

Really Bad Catchphrases for "The Apprentice: Martha Stewart" Show

You're CANNED! (maxcel200@aol.com)

Get me my pruning shears! (NonComposMentiss@aol.com)

You're floured! (davidgotribe@aol.com) ...but first we batter you up real good.

You don't need to dice onions to cry on this show! (imwednesdayaddams@yahoo.com)

Would you like fries with that? (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Grease: It's a good thi...no, wait, it's really, REALLY not!

In a weak attempt to hide her crippling dyslexia by feigning a faux fondness for golden-colored, deeply cooked potatoes, Martha attempts to copyright the catch phrase: "You're FRIED!" (Kamasushi@gmail.com; fishjean@sonic.net)

There's room for only one bitch on this show. (tygrkhat40@yahoo.com) Uh...I think Donald maybe says this already...you know he at least THINKS it.

As we say in prison, you're shanked! (candaceelder2002@yahoo.com; Mistahtom@aol.com)

You're M-diddied. (guitartexn@aol.com) Muuuch better than being M-balmed, M-aciated, M-barassed...

There are pros to being a con. (MedCheryl@aol.com)

' “Your fired!” © Donald Trump, Enterprises ' took too long to say so it was replaced by Martha's favorite jail catchphrase: “Bunk down, bitch!” (mikepena@verizon.net)

So you maggots think you can compete at my level, do you? (tpanner@inorbit.com)

You're.........gonna have to wear my "ankle bracelet" for the next 3 months. (L1061S@go.com) Does this mean we're "going steady"?

You'll be fired by one of my ass-kissing flunkies! (jaynashvil@aol.com) If you want something done right...you have to get someone else to do it for you.

The winners:

That really is a good thing...

You have to leave the "big house." (old.curmudgeon@hmoforum.com)

Not to be confused with that other prison saying, "Okay, time to put your butt out"...

And that's worth a pack of smokes! (fparsons@yahoo.com)