Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 12 Oct 03)
Really Bad Signs Your Mexican Food Isn't Exactly Authentic
The day after, you're gastrointestinal tract is perfectly fine. (email@example.com)
Salsa turns out to be Ragu Thick and Chunky Spaghetti Sauce. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)
You accidentally crack your taco shell and a slip of paper with your fortune and lucky numbers falls out. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Unfortunately all my lucky numbers are negative.
It can't get a California driver's license. (Pootybrew@earthlink.net)
When it comes wrapped in paper that says, "Yo Quiero Taco Bell." (DesyHand@aol.com)
When the label says "Made in Taiwan". (GentleWhisper612@aol.com; MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) Mmmm...refried bean eggrolls...
It tastes half decent. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
The guy at the register smells more like New Jersey than New Mexico. (Ha! That's Alabama joke comeback!) (Stan790@aol.com)
Your waitress keeps referring to your beautiful wife as senor and your kids as chalupas. (email@example.com) And all this time you just thought she was frigid.
There's real beef in your burrito. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
The #2 platter comes with your choice of rice or grits. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
They've substituted Jell-O for beans on all their dishes. (email@example.com) Do NOT try the bean dip!
You get asked "if you want chips with that, guv'nor". (Kayvotr@aol.com)
The advertisement has the word "authentic" in it somewhere. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Refried Pork and Beans. (email@example.com) Yes, having the word "Boston" somewhere on the menu is a surefire sign.
When you find the recipe in the current issue of Martha Stewart's Living. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Funny, it looked authentic in that Bangkok travel guide. (email@example.com)
The cook is a fat Chinese guy named Dong. (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com) If I had a penny for all the times I was complimented on my fat Dong....I'd have a penny. Maybe.
"Hey, this isn't guacamole, you just put green food coloring in the mashed potatoes!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Shots with little umbrellas in the glasses? Bad sign...
Your tequila has a gummy worm in it. (email@example.com)
One of "The Golden Girls"?...
The specialty of the house is named after someone named "Blanche". (firstname.lastname@example.org)