Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 13 Mar 03)

Really Bad Reasons To Stalk One of "The Golden Girls"

Curious to see what Dorothy is really packing under that dress. (

You heard that one of them was the "mystery judge" at HMO. ( We'll never tell...will we Blanche, er, 'Cad'?

Someone told you they're Playmates under all their makeup. (

Depends. (

Look, I can catch her and she can't hear me coming (watch it, Bub). (, what you are trying to tell me is that you're a screamer?

Two words for Betty White: Lake Placid. (

Cheapest way to get prescription drugs. (

Just gotta know if geriatric and acrobatic and gymnastic all sound similar for a REASON? ( Yeah, let us know how that turned out for you...

You want to persuade the delegates of the UN to change their minds by sending them some "late night" entertainment.. (

They are the only ones you can keep up with. (

Fetish of seeing women with bra sizes of 42 long. ( Especially the ones who shop at the Big and Tall Men's Shop.

Sounds like someone put Viagra in the Metamucil again. (

Like they'll remember long enough to pick me out of a lineup. ( Heck, sell it to FOX as a reality show..."America's Quickly Forgotten".

There's nothing sexier than wearing Rose Nylund's granny panties all day. (

Achieve life-long dream of getting on the front page of The Enquirer. ( Hey, it worked for Anna Nicole.

If you don't do it now, you might never get the chance. (

Hey, if you had as many nude pics of Bea Arthur as I do, you'd love her, too. (

The winners...uh, I think:

Ah, the eternal question:

To find out if Bea Arthur..could actually BE Arthur. (

Hmmmm....0 teeth and 308 years of know-how between the four of them...

One thing they have is experience, and when they take their teeth out.... (