Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 15 Apr 03)

Really Bad Tabloid Headlines
(Suggested by MistahTom@aol.com)

Francisco Franco Still Dead! (seeker@vcoms.net) Guess we know how old you are now.

Michael Jackson, Liz Taylor, Oprah Caught in Three-way (RasGold@aol.com)

Everything Is Normal! (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

Humor Me Online wins contest for best website! (bj.mills@excite.com)

Our Editor is a Homicidal Mani-ach, gurgle, choke (Omegamagezero@aol.com) ...and he apparently can't edit on an empty stomach!

President Bush Admitted to Mensa (iamzachmo@msn.com)

God Sued By Record Execs - Must Explain Why John Lennon Is Dead But Vanilla Ice Lives (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Search For Lost Australian Bedwetter Ends - Found Incontinent (ldolphin34@hotmail.com)

Cadeaux Seen in Public in Women's Clothing (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com) So, send all Manolo Blahnik shoes in size 5 1/2 c/o this site.

United States To Reestablish Prohibition! (casstigator@yahoo.com)

I'm Having My Baby! (QuarterHorse06@aol.com)

Vatican Asked to Confirm: St. Elvis? (muhltrayne@yahoo.com) Well, really, isn't it about time?

Hawaii Does Not Exist All a Scam to Sell Pineapples (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

After Latest Operation, Jacko Agrees to Pose For Playboy (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Liz's Latest Health Scare: Neutrogena Used Past Expiration Date! (jaynashvil@aol.com) Uh oh, I sense a comeback.

UFO PROOF FOUND! Flying Object Photographed Carries Odd G-O-O-D-Y-E-A-R Symbols on Sides! (Profishgyd@aol.com)

Add 'em Up! Russia + Germany + France = 664 - The Neighbors of the Beast! (seeker@vcoms.net)

Slow News Day (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) Enquiring minds want to know.

House Plants Plotting Destruction of Mankind "I'm Keeping my Pruning Shears Handy", Say Frightened Homemakers (Omegamagezero@aol.com)

Monica Lewinski Gives Birth to Bill Clinton's Love Child....It's a Cuban!!! (Badjokes4u@yahoo.com) Uh, congrats on the baby, there, Bill, but...uh, I'll pass on the cigar.

Chris Rock Tops Lakers' Celebrity Fan List...Jack's Off (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

The winners:

So what you are saying is the Vatican...but we can't?

Pope Declares Jokes About Him Are Funny Even If Those Who Write Them Are Going to Hell (Guitartexn@aol.com)

Hmmm...I don't know WHAT to believe anymore:

THIS JUST IN!!! All Tabloid Headlines Are Fake....see page 5!!! (oldnvyaf@aol.com)