Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 16 Oct 03)

Really Bad Signs That You Were Adopted From Circus Folk

Baby pictures show you tilting your head back and sliding your rattle down your throat. (

For some reason men in face paint and big plastic shoes turn me on. ( Sounds like 80s MTV.

You're black, but your mother and father are lime green. (

You can perform a do-it-yourself proctology exam. (

You tend to be attracted to whips and chairs. ( ...sounds like someone's been visiting my fetish website...

Your parents keep the really bad photograph of "yer kin" in a sealed glass jar filled with a mysterious fluid on the mantle. (

You have an incredible urge to grab your mom's tail with your nose and follow her around. (

During sex, you scream "Give it to me, Bozo!" ( See, that's where we differ...I usually scream "Give it to me you Bozo!"

You have three ring circles under your eyes. (

You don't feel comfortable riding in a car unless there are 23 other people in there with you. (

Kids run away from you, screaming their heads off and crying. ( Oh, that's a normal response to meeting me...

The clothesline has a safety net. (

No one else in the family has a tail. ( Uh...personally ALL my family could have tails and I'd never know...sheesh...I don't get THAT close to them.

Instead of a condom in your wallet you carry a rubber nose. (

My innate ability to fly through the air with the greatest of ease. ( Wow, that would be a great beginning to a song!

Mom claims your dad didn't run off, he was 'et. (

Your parents keep insisting that a beard looks nice on a girl your age. (

The winners:

I thought they were Ring and Ling:

Your brothers' names are Barnum, Bailey, and Dumbo. (

Hmmmm....this one sounds like it actually might have happened to you...

Your parents refer to you as "The Greatest Show-off On Earth!" (