Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 18 Apr 04)

Really Bad Things They Wanted To Let Mister Ed Say, But Never Had The Nerve To

That better be a carrot in your pocket, Will-burrrrr! (;

You know something Wilbur? Carol told me she thinks the wrong one of us was gelded. (

Hello, is this the regional manager of Manolo Blahnik? Do you make horseshoes? ( Hey, if it gets me a pair...I'm all for free advertising.

Tell me, Wilbur, do you like gladiator movies? (

I may have one, Wilbur, but you ARE a horse's ass! (

What do you mean I have to wait until "Seabiscuit" comes to DVD? ( Does that make him a "Sea" horse?

I'm dating a horse of a different color. (

Wilbur, would you scratch my ass? I just can't reach. (

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm hung like a man. (

Wilbur, you're boring. You're really, really boring! (

For my birthday, can we pick up a whorse? ( Of course they might have actually said this one...we'll never know.

Wilbur, If you ask me again "WHY THE LONG FACE?" I'm gonna stick this horseshoe up your @$$. (

Why do you keep getting letters from Elmer's and Alpo, Wilbur? (

Hey Wilbur.... why don't you ride me as hard as you used to? ( Now THAT'S a saddle-sore!

A horse is horse' my six figure a year earning ass! (

What kind of Nazi bastard gelds a perfectly healthy stallion, anyway? (

Ya know, I'm hung like a...well...ME! (;

Don't make me watch 'the Godfather' anymore! (

Ohhhh Wilbur....if you would stop smoking that crack, you would see that there is no such thing as a talking horse. (;

Seriously, you're married to that fine ass and you spend most of your time in here with me? What's wrong with you? (

I don't care about your opposable thumbs, Wilbur. Look at the size of THIS thing! (

You wanna know why I sleep standing up? There's all this horsesh*t on the floor, that's why!! ( Finally, we know the reason.

Wilbur, why do they say hung like a horse? Who's hanging all these horses? (

The winners:

Who didn't anticipate this one?...

You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little hoarse. (;

"Sorry, but we gotta "adhere" to that contract, Ed..."

When this show gets cancelled, I'm gonna be on the back of every stamp in the state. (