Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 18 Apr 04)
Really Bad Things They Wanted To Let Mister Ed Say, But Never Had The Nerve To
That better be a carrot in your pocket, Will-burrrrr! (MrglsJon@aol.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
You know something Wilbur? Carol told me she thinks the wrong one of us was gelded. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Hello, is this the regional manager of Manolo Blahnik? Do you make horseshoes? (email@example.com) Hey, if it gets me a pair...I'm all for free advertising.
Tell me, Wilbur, do you like gladiator movies? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I may have one, Wilbur, but you ARE a horse's ass! (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
What do you mean I have to wait until "Seabiscuit" comes to DVD? (email@example.com) Does that make him a "Sea" horse?
I'm dating a horse of a different color. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wilbur, would you scratch my ass? I just can't reach. (email@example.com)
I'm ashamed to admit it, but I'm hung like a man. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Wilbur, you're boring. You're really, really boring! (HerzogVon@aol.com)
For my birthday, can we pick up a whorse? (email@example.com) Of course they might have actually said this one...we'll never know.
Wilbur, If you ask me again "WHY THE LONG FACE?" I'm gonna stick this horseshoe up your @$$. (DOrr@jam.rr.com)
Why do you keep getting letters from Elmer's and Alpo, Wilbur? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hey Wilbur.... why don't you ride me as hard as you used to? (AutumnEagl@yahoo.com) Now THAT'S a saddle-sore!
A horse is horse' my six figure a year earning ass! (HerzogVon@aol.com)
What kind of Nazi bastard gelds a perfectly healthy stallion, anyway? (email@example.com)
Ya know, I'm hung like a...well...ME! (firstname.lastname@example.org; DesyHand@aol.com)
Don't make me watch 'the Godfather' anymore! (email@example.com)
Ohhhh Wilbur....if you would stop smoking that crack, you would see that there is no such thing as a talking horse. (WickedSpriteTink@aol.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Seriously, you're married to that fine ass and you spend most of your time in here with me? What's wrong with you? (email@example.com)
I don't care about your opposable thumbs, Wilbur. Look at the size of THIS thing! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You wanna know why I sleep standing up? There's all this horsesh*t on the floor, that's why!! (email@example.com) Finally, we know the reason.
Wilbur, why do they say hung like a horse? Who's hanging all these horses? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Who didn't anticipate this one?...
You'll have to excuse me. I'm a little hoarse. (YeIIowRoseOTX@aol.com; email@example.com)
"Sorry, but we gotta "adhere" to that contract, Ed..."
When this show gets cancelled, I'm gonna be on the back of every stamp in the state. (firstname.lastname@example.org)