Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 18 Feb 03)
Really Bad Signs That Everybody Knows You Wear a Hairpiece
Your friend Pfil calls to tell you that there's going to be a wind storm. (email@example.com)
When you wear it with the tag in front. (Ricktodabone@aol.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Your name is Lex Luthor. (email@example.com) It was all that Kryptonite exposure.
They're laughing at the picture of it flapping in the breeze posted at the logride at Disneyland. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Every time you get locked out of your business network, the new password is "just4cueball". (email@example.com)
You were a guest on the "Hairpiece..Not a Hairpiece" segment of the Letterman show. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com; Mistahtom@aol.com) Could be worse...they coulda put you on "Stupid Pet Tricks".
When you go to a nice restaurant and the coat check person asks if you like to check the rug too. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
When someone imitates you swimming, they stroke with one hand on their head. (Ty@TFW38Promotions.com)
Your name is William Shatner. (email@example.com) His head is a Tribble nesting ground...
Whenever anyone comes to your house they try to wipe their feet on your head. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Small children point and scream. (RasGold@aol.com)
You wear your tie around your head, Rambo-style, so that it doesn't blow away. (email@example.com) Whew...for a minute there I thought Loverboy was making a comeback!
A lot of snide questions about whether or not your "carpet" matches the drapes. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
You talk to your friends about the last time you went out and "cut the rug", and they all assumed you had been to a hairdresser. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I never knew someone could have blonde hair and black eyebrows. Is that normal? (CutelilDancer77@aol.com) So, in "Who's That Girl", Madonna was wearing a hairpiece? The fact that Leis WATCHED this movie is really scaring me.
When someone at the office states they are having a bad hair day, the others steal a quick glance at you. (RasGold@aol.com)
You receive nothing but hats from all of your friends and family... every single holiday. (Fiscus19@aol.com) Oh great...a Tam 'o Shanter, that will go nicely with my fez you gave me for my birthday.
Every time "Magic Carpet Ride" comes on the radio your friends snicker. (email@example.com)
Your insurance agent says you have a lot of "coverage". (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
"Hey guys, this is just off the top of my head...but, why does..."
Everyone always assumes you have glue in your pocket. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
And who better to contribute to this topic, but a man who's heard 'em all:
People tell me that my hairdo looks like the dog that placed third at that recent dog-show. (DavidLetterman@LateShow.com)