Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 18 Jul 04)

Really Bad Signs Your Beer is Bio-Engineered

Tastes great, less phospho-luminescence! (monetmonet@artlover.com)

Every time you take a sip, instead of a burp, a print-out of Sam Adams's DNA comes out. (AuntShecky711@aol.com)

Instead of a "Born on" date, you simply count the number of concentric rings your drink leaves on the table. (electronicwaffle@yahoo.com) "Then divide the circumferance of the circles by pi...then...oh hell, I'll just get a friggen coaster!"

After drinking one, you become a pink elephant. (farmermaslen@hotmail.com)

So THAT's why my dog won't drink this one. (skibip@aol.com)

Works it's way straight to the "recycling center" without leaving so much as a buzz. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Your dog drinks with you and he has gotten an extra leg, on his head. (marymarg27608@yahoo.com) Um, she also used to be my cat..

When I drink it I have an urge to watch the Paulie Shore movie BioDome. (flynnkj19@aol.com)

The head on your beer is kept thick and full through the hard work of Sea-Monkeys. (SPTIrish@aol.com)

There are nanobots floating in it doing the backstroke. (marymarg27608@yahoo.com) No extra points for using the word "nanobots"...sorry.

The brewer is Dow Corning. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

The beer is smarter than you are. (khalazdad@adelphia.net)

Like us guys who drink beer even know what bio-engineered means... (deweyever@attbi.com) No extra points for pointing this out either.

Your artificial limb gets drunk way quicker than the rest of your body. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Morning whiz took eight minutes and forty-two seconds to complete, eleven and a half if you include the shake. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

The bubbles form a number, 1 to 10, to rate your belches. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) Awww.....at least it shows they care!

Green Beer? Its not just for St. Patrick's day anymore! (bonzo7@yahoo.com)

It's capable of solving complex differential equations, and I'm not drunk yet. (scalpel@aol.com)

You find a three-eyed mouse in the bottle. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net) And your problem IS?......

The mold in the frat-house grows twice as fast. (johnbrunza@yahoo.com)

The label says "Micro-process-brewed." (RasGold@cox.net)

The brand logo, on close inspection, includes a complex molecular model. (chharget@aol.com) Also, the "sell by" date appears to be pi.

Your urine looks more like primordial soup. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

After only 7 or 8 cans, you feel completely degradable. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

It has a head....a talking one. (PastLivesR6@aol.com) "Same as it ever was...same as it ever was..."

No need for a night light now that my whiz glows in the dark. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Warning label: 'Pregnant woman do not drink this beer without first having a Pabst smear'. (maxcel200@aol.com)

The head on your beer is Einstein's. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com) Uh...can I hold off until one pours out with the frozen head of Walt Disney?

When you tap the keg, it taps back. (rochford@netaus.net.au)

The winners:

Isn't that just a "ReBa Sign You Drink Out Of Tupperware"?...

The can burps before you do. (tphyll@aol.com)

Hey, don't give Playboy any ideas...you know what happened last time a humour site got involved with Playboy...

Instead of "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit models, you find yourself mentally undressing MENSA babes. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)