Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 18 May 03)

Really Bad Signs That Your Bachelor Party Is a Dud

Grandma? Is that you? (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Tom Hanks and Tawny Kitaen fail to show up. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

You invited Cad, Leis, Jankath and Twitty as a joke... and they showed up. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) Hey! Have you seen those other three jump out of a cake? HOT!!!

The only guy having any fun is the one who thinks that lighting farts is still REALLY cool. (trlymurph@aol.com)

The stripper shows up... and it's a guy. Who looks like Jiminy Glick. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

Your dad recognizes the stripper as being the same one from his bachelor party. (sunjonesboro@yahoo.com; QuarterHorse06@aol.com) Ahhh, "Bubbles La Rue"...unfortunately the last time hers were still inflated was during the Depression.

The guys were allowed to bring their wives. (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

"You have the right to remain silent.. anything you say can and will be held against you.. " (vwalker005@aol.com)

You spend the entire evening talking to Ray Jay Johnson. (bj.mills@excite.com) ....even worse, when you consider that he's dead...or you can call him deceased, or you can call him expired...

The beer is flat and the stripper is flatter. (TerriKlein@aol.com)

Your future wife pops out of the cake - naked, purring, "Come and get me, boys.". (Nova116@aol.com)

Hey guys, let's all sign on to HMO and think of funny stuff! (guitartexn@aol.com; KANNi8LKL0wN@aol.com) Look, we said "dud"...not "pathetic".

Barry Manilow is featured. (edberger@aol.com)

Your mother keeps pointing out that the really pretty girl is your cousin Lesly. (disturbedpro@aol.com)

The stripper jumped back into the cake. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net) I volunteer to head up the "cake search party".

Any pictures taken are all suitable to show to your own mother and your future inlaws. (madavis62@alltel.net)

The chosen stag film for the evening: "Mrs. Holland's Old Puss." (RasGold@aol.com)

Your 13 year old cousin leans over and says "You want me to call some girls?" (faeriequeenlady@yahoo.com) Hey, it's West Virginia...so what it they are all related...so's everyone else in your wedding party.

The police get a complaint call to break up the party ..... and it came from the party. (TZMAC@aol.com)

In order to slip a dollar in the stripper's G-String she has to lift her beer belly. (rem7202@aol.com)

The winners:

Uh, this sounds more like a ReBa Honeymoon:

The mirror on the ceiling is from a funhouse. (cfbuehler@aol.com)

Sure, you hear a lot of people screaming "Oh, God!"...but they aren't coming from the party...

Party held in a Methodist youth center. (seeker@vcoms.net)