Exercycle has cheese and dip tray. (email@example.com)
They only sell the giant, ECONOMY size athlete's foot powder at the sign in desk. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
It's run by midgets and clowns in a big sawdust ring. (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)
Sign outside: "240 Dollars An Hour" Fitness. (email@example.com) Or you could just buy this machine...The 4-Minute CrossTrainer ©
The gym is really small,with many skylights and, someone is on the roof proclaiming to be "King of the mountain." (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)
Aerobics tapes consists of the ones listed on the "ReBa Titles For Aerobics Tapes" list (anyone remember that?). (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Everyone is waaay younger, and a man who calls himself "the principal" keeps threatening to have you arrested. (email@example.com) Wow! You joined Michael Jackson's health club?
You wind up having to go to the VD clinic after riding the stationary bike. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The "Abandon all hope yea who enter here" sign over the front door. (email@example.com)
You notice whips and chains hanging in the men's shower room and your personal trainer is wearing assless leather chaps. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Not to be confused with the uber popular "assed" chaps.
The StairMaster machine is a step ladder. (email@example.com)
The latest in exercise equipment...some assembly required. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
I finally got into the yoga class with the gorgeous babes in tights, and I'm in too much pain to appreciate them. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com) But on the bright side, you're now the only person among your friends who can do "pretzel" at charades.
Your personal trainer thinks cardio is a game you play after taking the Jokers out of the deck. (Jdoveraz@aol.com)
The men in the locker room are slapping each other on the ass, and there's not a towel to be seen. (Pmacca01@yahoo.co.uk)
All the female members are former Phys. Ed. majors. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Sauna has a roasting spit inside. (firstname.lastname@example.org) The ones here in Alabama just have tobacco spit.
The steroid vending machine in the lobby. (email@example.com)
These people expect you to sweat. Can you imagine that? (WJKbase@aol.com)
The gym itself is tiny, but they have huge showers. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
For every pound you lose, you get a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) You are what you eat? Guess I better avoid the Chunky Monkey….
All the lights are wired to generators on the exercycles. (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
The place is called "Slim Gyms" and they treat you like a piece of meat. (email@example.com)
The membership kit includes coupons for the local chiropractor and orthopedic surgeon. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)
You notice Resistance Bands on the La-Z-Boy's reclining arm. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
No one will show you how to use the kegel machine. (email@example.com) "Feel the burn"...uh...on second thought, better see a doctor if you do.
The papers you signed said "US Army Recruitment" on them. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Hey, who am I to argue...he's got that signed degree in Gymology from Sally Struthers and all...
According to your instructor, carrying his groceries to his apartment via stairs is better than "time on a lame-assed treadmill". (email@example.com)
Think of them as punching bags….lumpy, smelly, gross punching bags...
The body bags stacked in the corner. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)