Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 21 Jun 04)

Really Bad Slogans for Gas Stations/Companies

Oil bet these responses will be fuel of puns. Only because it is such a Gas. Choose better topics. Diesel be the only way you will stop dipsticks from answering. (

We used to be we're refined! (; We have a punny crowd this, I said PUNNY!

Unless You Like To Get Out And Push...You Need Gas To Move Your Tush! (

Regular: $1.99; Medium: Arm; Premium: Leg (

Just bend over and let us "hose" you! (;

Fill up with $2.39 per gallon 87 octane or higher (limit 10 gallons) and we'll take $1.00 off the $10.00 car wash. Our way of saying thanks during these trying times. (

Self-Service! We won't listen to you bitch! ( That's right...just talk to the hand...that does the pumping.

3 Days without an Explosion. (

When you hear the name Haliburton, you immediately think of halibut. Small wonder everything about us sounds fishy. (

Exxon - Protecting wildlife since 1993... since 1997... 2001... okay, since Tuesday. (

With gas prices like these, who needs college tuition? (

Act now -- we're raising it to $3 in 2005! (

Be a Classy Lassie...With a Gassy Chassis! ( Now, was that sassy, or a pain in the...

Just stopped by to take a dump? / Well, you don't get the key till you pay our pump! (

Yeah, yeah, but we've got free air. (

What are you going to do? Walk? (

Don't Worry. It Won't Run Out Until Long After We're All Dead. ( Hey, I'm not a dinosaur...yet!

Proudly paying our workers less per hour than you're paying dollar per gallon! (

We can afford to drive our SUV's, can you? (

We bring new meaning to "Highway Robbery." (

Fill 'er twelve easy installments! ( First installment's an one's a leg...third one was outlined by Pootybrew...

Now accepting first-born children in exchange for a fill-up. (

We lowered it a dime, so quit yer bitchin'! (

Drive or eat? Eat or drive? You decide. (;

We can fuel all of the people...all of the time. (

Maintaining high prices so we can maintain high-priced Congressmen. ( That's called integrity...and we're full of it.

Iraq-ed up a lot of profit sharing after this year's price increases. (

Our prices will raise your BP! (

Okay, we had a couple of oil spills. Do we really need the entire ecosystem anyway? (

Put a little tiger in your tank (because a lot of tiger will cost too much). (

No wonder she's always so happy!

We've been pumping Ethyl since 1956! (

I wonder who the real clown is...

Why high gas prices boys and girls? Clarabell tell them...'It's Saudi Duty Time'! (