Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 21 Jun 04)

Really Bad Slogans for Gas Stations/Companies

Oil bet these responses will be fuel of puns. Only because it is such a Gas. Choose better topics. Diesel be the only way you will stop dipsticks from answering. (Electronicwaffle@yahoo.com)

We used to be crude...now we're refined! (maxcel200@aol.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com) We have a punny crowd this week....no, I said PUNNY!

Unless You Like To Get Out And Push...You Need Gas To Move Your Tush! (airfarcewon@aol.com)

Regular: $1.99; Medium: Arm; Premium: Leg (tphyll@aol.com)

Just bend over and let us "hose" you! (MooseSpeak@netscape.net; tainsam@aol.com)

Fill up with $2.39 per gallon 87 octane or higher (limit 10 gallons) and we'll take $1.00 off the $10.00 car wash. Our way of saying thanks during these trying times. (davidgotribe@aol.com)

Self-Service! We won't listen to you bitch! (Seeker@vcoms.net) That's right...just talk to the hand...that does the pumping.

3 Days without an Explosion. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

When you hear the name Haliburton, you immediately think of halibut. Small wonder everything about us sounds fishy. (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Exxon - Protecting wildlife since 1993... since 1997... 2001... okay, since Tuesday. (darkmanwork@hotmail.com)

With gas prices like these, who needs college tuition? (tainsam@aol.com)

Act now -- we're raising it to $3 in 2005! (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Be a Classy Lassie...With a Gassy Chassis! (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Now, was that sassy, or a pain in the...

Just stopped by to take a dump? / Well, you don't get the key till you pay our pump! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

Yeah, yeah, but we've got free air. (sagient@msn.com)

What are you going to do? Walk? (deweyever@attbi.com)

Don't Worry. It Won't Run Out Until Long After We're All Dead. (joseph.blevins@verizon.net) Hey, I'm not a dinosaur...yet!

Proudly paying our workers less per hour than you're paying dollar per gallon! (noveed@yahoo.com)

We can afford to drive our SUV's, can you? (sagient@msn.com)

We bring new meaning to "Highway Robbery." (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Fill 'er up...in twelve easy installments! (stan@squidworks.com) First installment's an arm....next one's a leg...third one was outlined by Pootybrew...

Now accepting first-born children in exchange for a fill-up. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

We lowered it a dime, so quit yer bitchin'! (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

Drive or eat? Eat or drive? You decide. (davidgotribe@aol.com; tphyll@aol.com)

We can fuel all of the people...all of the time. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Maintaining high prices so we can maintain high-priced Congressmen. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com) That's called integrity...and we're full of it.

Iraq-ed up a lot of profit sharing after this year's price increases. (sagient@msn.com)

Our prices will raise your BP! (mashallaha@aol.com)

Okay, we had a couple of oil spills. Do we really need the entire ecosystem anyway? (carissa_chris@yahoo.com)

Put a little tiger in your tank (because a lot of tiger will cost too much). (RasGold@cox.net)

No wonder she's always so happy!

We've been pumping Ethyl since 1956! (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)

I wonder who the real clown is...

Why high gas prices boys and girls? Clarabell tell them...'It's Saudi Duty Time'! (maxcel200@aol.com)