Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 22 Nov 03)

Really Bad Ways To Dispose Of Your Horse When It Dies
(Topic Suggested by RWich928@aol.com)

Sell it on eBay as an "authentic" movie prop from "The Godfather." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

Take it down to the local Chinese restaurant. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Actually, don't get rid of it, display it prominently in the barn, to scare your live horses into submission. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)

Two words, well actually a phrase and a word: Family BBQ! We are going to need gallons of sauce cousins. (Wizardoddz@aol.com) What's a "sauce cousin"?

By registering Filet-O-Filly.com. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com)

Leave it in front of the supermarket as a children's 25 cent ride. (funandgames@jeremiah2911.org)

Sell it to one of those necrophiliac "barnyard sex" sites I keep getting spam from. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)

Papier-mâché, candy, a stick and two dozen nine-year olds. (monetmonet@artlover.com) Not ANOTHER Michael Jackson joke.

Freeze-dry it and tell everyone it's the world's largest jerky. (jonboyd@hotmail.com)

Eliminate the middle man..save it and feed it to your dog. (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

Piñata! (AutumnEagl@yahoo.com) Okay, all together now: "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

Attach antlers on it, and drop it off at Ted Nugent's house. (casstigator@yahoo.com)

Leave her in the bed and quietly shut the door...what?...oh, you said HORSE? (TvOrNotTv1@aol.com)

Why do you think I'm building a trebouchet in my back yard? (e-merlin@sio.midco.net) Sheesh, I hate it when I have to drag out the dictionary.

Hey everybody, guess what we are gonna have instead of turkey!!! (iPHARTonU@hotmail.com)

Flicka in the Chippa' (spamalope@access4less.net)

Crazy glue a horn to it's head and sell it to the National Inquirer (again). (funandgames@jeremiah2911.org) No no no, that's the Weekly World News; the Enquirer would want the horn to be on Liza Minelli's head, while she was kissing Arnold...

Stuff it and send it to your mother-in-law with a note: "A Nag for a Nag". (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

Use it as the first knight in my oversized chess set. (skibip@aol.com)

Drag it to a shopping mall, stand there with a stick and beat it, and erect a sign that says "Metaphors Brought To Life." (ukkfayooyay@aol.com)

Duct tape some old deer antlers on its head and prop it up out in the woods. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) Bet it's been done here in Alabama at least once before.

Bury it upside-down in the yard, then invite friends and family over for a "real" game of horse shoes. (t_fromthe_edge@yahoo.com)

Make a pilot sequel to the old TV show, "Mister Ed"...Call it "Mister Dead". (Airfarcewon@aol.com)

The winnners:

It helps if you try not do dwell on the mental image:

Salad Shooter (RodentsRred@hotmail.com)

Something tells me you're going to need a bigger tray...

Horse Deuvres (archerjoe@hotmail.com)