Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 23 Jul 03)

Really Bad Names For Suntan Products

PAM (rampage1984@aol.com)

Skin-B-Gone (alca_vexus@hotmail.com)

Bake and Flake (mrsbrak@fastmail.fm)

Darth Vader's Dark Side Oil (SSCompose@aol.com)

K.C. Masterpiece (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com) Hey, I didn't know Kansas City had a beach.

Ricardo Montalban's Corinthian Skin Leatherizer (mrsbrak@fastmail.fm)

Tans For The Mammories (SpinyNorma@aol.com)

Paba Knows Best (skibip@aol.com)

Call 911 (trlymurph@aol.com) What, and risk William Shatner showing up to "re-enact" the whole thing?

All-natural sunblock. Side effects may include: headaches, dizziness, indigestion, sinus inflammation, nausea, diarrhea, stomach pain, vomiting, upper respiratory tract infection, palpitations and rectal hemorrhaging. Do not operate heavy machinery. Avoid direct exposure to sun. (razcactus@netzero.com)

Tan My Hide! (cem@canada.com; osuave@hotmail.com)

Plutoniumtone (craigieb@aol.com)

Fat Looks Better When It's Tan (rsherman@netplexgroup.com) Pure marketing genius: Catering to the "masses".

Alaskan Tropic (joseph.blevins@verizon.net)

Derma-burn (murdoctor@aol.com)

Melon Oma Sol-ution (icediver@ec.rr.com; lhill@maguiregroup.com)

Burntastic! (razcactus@netzero.com)

SPF 451 (cem@canada.com) Use this and before you know, a fireman will be there...just to make sure you burn properly.

Hawaiian Tropic of Cancer (mrsbrak@fastmail.fm)

The Jackson 35(spf) (lhill@maguiregroup.com)

SPF Computer programmer (srch4sat@charter.net) Paler than Jeremy Irons in "The Time Machine"...(congrats to all 3 of you who saw that film, and get the joke)

TAN, by George Hamilton (trlymurph@aol.com)

Gee-Your-Skin-Smells-Like-Bacon (mrsbrak@fastmail.fm)

Gentlemen Prefer Bronze (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

The winners:

I really thought it was from those "Banana Boat" people...honestly...

Simply A-Peeling...45 (gregparsons68@yahoo.com)

Finger icky good!...

Krispy Cream (Pastlivesr6@aol.com)