Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 23 Mar 03)

Really Bad Things Leis Did While Vacationing in Las Vegas

No matter what sick, twisted, evil things Leis did even he was sickened to find that there was a club devoted to each and every one (

It wouldn't be proper to discuss it until it has been reviewed by the district attorney. (

Who's Leis? ( Oh suuuuure...act like you don't remember him now.

Let's just say the show is now called Sigfried, Roy and Leis! (

Gambled and loss the rights to judge REBA in a poker game to a midget in a tu-tu. (

Kept breaking out in excerpts from "Guys and Dolls". ( Ohhhhhhhhh, that's why everyone kept calling me Nathan Detroit!

Tried to put his old tokens in a slot machine. (

He doesn't quite remember except for waking up the next morning with a smiley face tattooed on his forehead. (

Made a fortune selling ReBa entries to comedians performing on the Strip, claiming they were original. (

Spent 12 hours walking through the Star Trek experience looking for the holographic hookers. ( Better than hooking for holographic lookers.

Spent more cash to see Wayne Newton than he did gambling. (

Forgot to visit Hoover Dam, which he'll regret for the rest of his life. (

Got arrested at the craps table because of his reaction to the "come" line. ( I cupped 'em in my hand, and shook those...dice.

Got married by an Elvis impersonator, no wait, got married TO an Elvis impersonator. (

He can't remember clearly, but it involved $10,000 in blackjack winnings, three call girls, a couple bottles of 151, and a hot tub full of Masterpiece barbecue sauce. (

"Um, Sir, the Mustang Ranch is NOT a car museum." ( "...uh, so you can put your top down now."

Got the midnight munchies and raided the hotel rooms stocked fridge. Hey, who knew 3 beers, 2 candy bars, package of peanuts and one pint of Häagen-Dazs would cost 175 bucks? (

Got a job playing a pervert on CSI. ( Yup, I've been rehearsing for it my whole life...

Actually paid to see "Kangaroo Jack" in his bedroom. (

Unlike Leis...the winners...

Well, she used to be a dancer...back in 1947...

Used the line, "Hey Baby, I moderate this online joke website, Can I buy you a drink?" to pick up a Vegas dancer... (

Sad, but true:

Lost 50 bucks playing the change machine. (