Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 24 Jan 03)
Really Bad Comments to Hear at Your "American Idol" Audition
George Bush called - you are now listed as a Weapon of Mass Destruction. (email@example.com)
I'd say you're going to Hollywood... but my nose would grow so long it'd probably stab you. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Someone get Roseanne Barr out of here please... (email@example.com) At least her song lasted longer than her talk show. She had a talk show??
Could you turn around and make that sound come out of your mouth instead? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
No, you don't have to be dead to be an idol, but in your case it might help. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
Does Your mother sing?..No?..probably hereditary. (Internutt9@aol.com)
I would rather have my eye catch fire and then extinguish it with an ice pick. (email@example.com) Hey, I'd audition to see this.
You should be right up there with Elvis, Buddy Holly and John Lennon, .......deCOMPOSING! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
If I was peeling an onion at the North Pole..your voice still wouldn't make me cry or give me chills. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)
Karaoke night is TOMORROW........next. (email@example.com)
You can get dressed, you got the audition. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Anna Nicole can SING too?
I picked a bad week to give up heroin. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
Hey, weren't you in Journey? (email@example.com) I guess this answers that "where are they now" question.
Good job! Now to keep that voice clear, go home and gargle with turpintine and rusty razor blades! (Stan790@aol.com)
WATA, SUKIMATEMAMO, WALANAKIAYOMYTIC!!! ::judge jams sword into chest:: (Stan790@aol.com)
Your voice could make a mime scream. (firstname.lastname@example.org) Gee, don't hold back, okay?
How cruel that everyone up to now has lied to you about your 'talent'. (email@example.com)
I've met Tom Waits, and you miss, are no Tom Waits. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You should have been a drummer. (email@example.com) ...for Spinal Tap.
Lost a bet, didn't ya? (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Ladies and Gentlemen...our winners...
Okay, is this "American Idol" or "Jerry Springer?...
Simon: "Your appearance is worse than your singing." Randy: "You can at least tuck in your shirt, man." Paula: "Uh, guys, he's not wearing a shirt." (email@example.com)
I believe you just might have a career as a public speaker...the one at McDonald's that is...
I'll have the number 4 and supersize it. (firstname.lastname@example.org)