Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 24 Jun 03)

Really Bad Signs You Just Might Have ESP

I KNEW this would be the new ReBa topic...No really, I did! (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com; everyone else)

I can tell ahead of time that my much better entries are left out in favor of not-as-funny entries. This type of ESP is really painful. (archerjoe@hotmail.com) ...and everyone has it.

I could see my 401K shrinking even before it happened. (archerjoe@hotmail.com)

Momma, I'm ready to share my secret with you. I see ....... dumb people. (TZMAC@aol.com)

Every man that approaches you gets slapped before they can even say a word. (murdoctor@aol.com) Dude looks like a lady? I think NOT!

I had a "feeling" I would get aroused by Cameron Diaz in a bikini. (Doodardoodar@aol.com)

I knew my first entry for this contest would be the same as many other entries. I also knew that I would get an e-mail from Cad pointing out that others had sent in the same entry. (e-marlon@sio.midco.net)

Your spoon bends while eating hot soup. (jrgracey1@aol.com) That's because you are using a plastic one, numskull.

Somehow knew that 'a night out with the girls' sounded fishy when she said her friends are named Julio, Wilfredo and Juan-Carlos. (kamasushi@aol.com)

I answered this one 3 weeks ago. (smmfd1@aol.com)

I know all the wrong numbers for the lottery. (bchbms99@aol.com) Uncanny!

I CAN PREDICT THE FUTURE! LET ME SEE YOUR FUTURE! It is clear to me now! You have no future! Aww! That's the same thing my ex-wife told me! (Za2eebon@aol.com)

You watch USA Vs China in mens' water polo at 3 A.M.....oh wait, that's ESPN. (dakotadave57104@yahoo.com)

You get these strong, definite vibes that: J-Lo's ass is going to be in the news again. (ukkfayooyay@aol.com) Enough about Ben Affleck...how about J Lo herself for once?

If I concentrate hard enough, I can kill Patrick Stewart (Professor X).....I thought it was funny, leave me alone. (kaylor@mail.com)

You see yourself getting laid. (Oh wait, that's just a good imagination) (Bob9514@aol.com)

I don't exactly see dead people, but I see a lot of people who OUGHT to be dead. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net) In Washington, right?

When Hillary Clinton announces she's running for president, you say, "I knew that since January 21, 1993." (junkmailmagnet42@aol.com)

The winners:

You know, if you really had ESP...or at least common sense, the lipstick wouldn't be on the collar...

Every time I come home stinking drunk with "do-me-red" lipstick on my collar, I somehow just KNOW that my wife is going to be pissed. (kamasushi@aol.com)

Okay, so if you never look behind you, you should be just fine. Never.

I always have a way of knowi....Ohmigod! Whoever reads this, LOOK BEHIND YOU!!! (kaylor@mail.com)