Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 25 Apr 03)

Really Bad Signs You're Not 'In the Loop'

You still do impersonations dressed up like Michael Jackson in "Beat It". (

While waiting for your doctor to get back some test results, you decide to go for a walk and happen upon your own grave. (

Laughing at all the jokes until you find out they are about your Mom!!! ( Plus, oddly enough, I wrote half of 'em myself!

I was playing POGS the other day and drinkin' a New Coke when I stumbled on to something called the Internet. (

You wear white pumps, fuzzy socks and sweats pulled halfway up your calf together in public... namely Walmart. (

You're not even invited to the party in your own pants. ( But you usually find out about it AFTER it's over....

Instead of lighting up a room when you's more like a power outage. (

You still are amazed by Pong. (

You actually laugh at Leno. ( Ewwwwww...

Show up at your bosses house for a company picnic and find his widow greeting mourners. It's too late to improvise because your wearing a Hawaiian Luau shirt and carrying a case of Bud Light. (

You can't hear the L anymore. (Chicago humor never plays in Atlanta, but every now and then I just gotta try. C'mon up, and I'll arrange to get your car towed.) ( Atlanta? Boy are you outta the loop...I'm in Alabama!

Your work cubicle has been replaced by vending machines (

You're the only one at the meeting that's not wearing a bunny suit. (

Your friend got a DVD, and you ask them if they want some penicillin. (

You don't know who all your base belong to. ( The classics never die...

When at a party, and someone brings up the topic of Saddam, you rattle on about Gommorrah. (

The winners:

I don't care, just give me the presents:

They keep giving you retirement and farewell parties. ( woulda been a sucky party if you were there anyway...

You find out about the party, because you work at the one hour photo lab. (