Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 25 Apr 03)

Really Bad Signs You're Not 'In the Loop'

You still do impersonations dressed up like Michael Jackson in "Beat It". (Jeriandgeo@aol.com)

While waiting for your doctor to get back some test results, you decide to go for a walk and happen upon your own grave. (kamasushi@aol.com)

Laughing at all the jokes until you find out they are about your Mom!!! (oldnvyaf@aol.com) Plus, oddly enough, I wrote half of 'em myself!

I was playing POGS the other day and drinkin' a New Coke when I stumbled on to something called the Internet. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

You wear white pumps, fuzzy socks and sweats pulled halfway up your calf together in public... namely Walmart. (Jeriandgeo@aol.com)

You're not even invited to the party in your own pants. (laugh@starpower.net) But you usually find out about it AFTER it's over....

Instead of lighting up a room when you enter..it's more like a power outage. (Baitsmotel6@aol.com)

You still are amazed by Pong. (PeterNorton@produce.com)

You actually laugh at Leno. (HappyPappy@Sonic.net) Ewwwwww...

Show up at your bosses house for a company picnic and find his widow greeting mourners. It's too late to improvise because your wearing a Hawaiian Luau shirt and carrying a case of Bud Light. (JoyfulDJoy@aol.com)

You can't hear the L anymore. (Chicago humor never plays in Atlanta, but every now and then I just gotta try. C'mon up, and I'll arrange to get your car towed.) (HerzogVon@aol.com) Atlanta? Boy are you outta the loop...I'm in Alabama!

Your work cubicle has been replaced by vending machines (boybuddha@aol.com)

You're the only one at the meeting that's not wearing a bunny suit. (JOSQUARD@aol.com)

Your friend got a DVD, and you ask them if they want some penicillin. (Mistahtom@aol.com)

You don't know who all your base belong to. (rsherman@netplexgroup.com) The classics never die...

When at a party, and someone brings up the topic of Saddam, you rattle on about Gommorrah. (guitartexn@aol.com)

The winners:

I don't care, just give me the presents:

They keep giving you retirement and farewell parties. (samuraikc2002@aol.com)

Eh...it woulda been a sucky party if you were there anyway...

You find out about the party, because you work at the one hour photo lab. (trlymurph@aol.com)