Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 25 Feb 04)
Really Bad Promotional Offers
(Topic suggested by Polaris75@aol.com)
Buy one get none free! (email@example.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
USED DENTURES, 1/2 OFF! (email@example.com)
The Discover Card(c)! Now with it's backup, The RECOVERY Card ! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Buy one Tasmanian devil, get the second FREE! (email@example.com) As long as he and his animal buddies PROMISE not to star in a crappy Brendan Fraser/Jenna Elfman movie.
Frontier Savings and Loan: Open a new account with us and get a free shotgun. (Ripster40@yahoo.com; firstname.lastname@example.org)
Grand Prize: All-Expenses-Paid Trip to Disneyworld in Orlando! (Void in Florida and Where Prohibited.) (email@example.com)
Free wrist splint with any Viagra order. (StanYan1@aol.com) Carpull tunnel syndrome?
Exclusive: 3 for the price of 4! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Free stick on nails with your next renewal of Maxim magazine. (email@example.com)
Comes in your choice of: Purple, Reddish Purple and Deep Purple! (firstname.lastname@example.org) Um, so does my ex-girlfriend's face, usually when I speak.
If your parachute should fail for any reason, simply return it for a full money-back guarantee! (email@example.com; Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Free home pregnancy test with every box of condoms. (MooseSpeak@netscape.net)
All weddings come with a coupon for 1/2 off your next one. (Joker@TheKidders.com) Sheesh, I was already half-off when I married the first time.
Buy one carseat, get the recalled one for free! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Get your diabetic supplies from us, and we'll have Wilford Brimley come over and show you how to use them. (email@example.com)
On your Hawaiian vacation, listen to our 4-hour time-share pitch and we'll through in an audio cassette on time management. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Act now for free telemarketing! (email@example.com) Ohboyohboyohboyoh--heyyyyy, wait a sec....
2-for-1 euthanization at We-[heart]-Pets (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Half-off Penis Enlargement! (NodMyChin@sbcglobal.net; email@example.com)
This month only.. everything half off at Jackson's Family Intimates and Lingerie Shop. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I think this will officially be our last Janet Jackson reference for a while...yeah yeah, you guys milked it for all it was worth.
Tampons: Buy one, get one free..No strings attached! (Airfarcewon@aol.com)
Free shipping and handling on all pick-ups. (email@example.com)
Send us your name, address, receipt and $50 and we'll send you a bar-coded UPC. (TZMAC@aol.com)
Welcome to my world...
You get to see three "normal" (REJECTED) HMO entries, for each entry accepted. (AhOLHOL@aol.com)
Eh...I'm not sure this promotional idea would fly...
All you need to book a flight with us is your dental records. (firstname.lastname@example.org)