Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 25 Nov 04)

Really Bad New Slogans For The Newly Merged Kmart/Sears Store

Now we're big enough to sell junk and take advantage of everybody like Walmart does! (

The crap's all inside. (

Two dumb stores blended into one big dumb store. ( Spend your dullards...uh,!

Where Americans adversely effected by punitive Presidential tax cuts for the fabulously wealthy shop. (

Shop SMART! ... Shop S-Mart! (

KMart and Sears: If Walmart keeps putting us out of business one store at a time we'll last twice as long this way. ( Now that's a/an (I'm soooo confused) S-Mart idea! Uh...whatever...just see RasGold's entry.

More aging models and domestic diva spokespeople for your dollar! (

Same Cheap Crap but with New Higher Prices!!! (;

We've joined forces because two lackluster franchises are better than one! (

K-Mart and Sears have gotten together, like Martha and her cell mate. (

It's probably not as bad as you think! ( Yes, it is.

If we can't make it together, you can kiss your local economy good bye! (

All a redneck could ever need under one roof. (

The new home of Martha Stewart Power Tools ( ...featuring the all-new "Martha Stewart Cake-with-file-inside".

Sears. KMart. Big losses. Any questions? (

We have a blue light special on worthless stock! (

K-Sears: Keeping Walmart & Target laughing. (

Crappy merchandise, poorly displayed. Now twice as many locations. ( Wow, when you put it that almost seems inviting.

Sears/Kmart - No one ever went bankrupt underestimating the American consumer. (

We took the "S" from Sears and the "MART" from KMart and we came up with Kears! ( (with apologies to all the Bruce Campbell fans, heh heh)

It's all inside....well, except for Jaclyn Smith, she won't come in. (

Conveniently located on the way to your Walmart! (

Come see the cheaper side of Sears. ( this possible??

Our Craftsman tools are guaranteed forever... or at least as long as we can keep afloat. (

Sears-Mart: Not cheaper prices; just cheaper. (

The winners:

Ewe arrr ay a genie....a's smart!...

We put the 'K' in "kuality"! (

You know, this is so incredibly wittily just might work...

Featuring blue light specials in a catalog near you! (