Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 25 Nov 04)

Really Bad New Slogans For The Newly Merged Kmart/Sears Store

Now we're big enough to sell junk and take advantage of everybody like Walmart does! (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

The crap's all inside. (DaJakAiss@aol.com)

Two dumb stores blended into one big dumb store. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Spend your dullards...uh, DOLLARS...here!

Where Americans adversely effected by punitive Presidential tax cuts for the fabulously wealthy shop. (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

Shop SMART! ... Shop S-Mart! (RasGold@cox.net)

KMart and Sears: If Walmart keeps putting us out of business one store at a time we'll last twice as long this way. (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com) Now that's a/an (I'm soooo confused) S-Mart idea! Uh...whatever...just see RasGold's entry.

More aging models and domestic diva spokespeople for your dollar! (chharget@aol.com)

Same Cheap Crap but with New Higher Prices!!! (beachboy200@yahoo.com; crayzeeaj@hotmail.com)

We've joined forces because two lackluster franchises are better than one! (william.fishburne@verizon.net)

K-Mart and Sears have gotten together, like Martha and her cell mate. (Cantw82paint@aol.com)

It's probably not as bad as you think! (ListenBucko@yahoo.com) Yes, it is.

If we can't make it together, you can kiss your local economy good bye! (HerzogVon@aol.com)

All a redneck could ever need under one roof. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com)

The new home of Martha Stewart Power Tools (jaynashvil@aol.com) ...featuring the all-new "Martha Stewart Cake-with-file-inside".

Sears. KMart. Big losses. Any questions? (Pootybrew@goosemoose.com)

We have a blue light special on worthless stock! (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

K-Sears: Keeping Walmart & Target laughing. (Skibip@aol.com)

Crappy merchandise, poorly displayed. Now twice as many locations. (Skibip@aol.com) Wow, when you put it that way...it almost seems inviting.

Sears/Kmart - No one ever went bankrupt underestimating the American consumer. (monetmonet@artlover.com)

We took the "S" from Sears and the "MART" from KMart and we came up with Kears! (sootnmoopy@aol.com) (with apologies to all the Bruce Campbell fans, heh heh)

It's all inside....well, except for Jaclyn Smith, she won't come in. (holtbolt@comcast.net)

Conveniently located on the way to your Walmart! (ListenBucko@yahoo.com)

Come see the cheaper side of Sears. (mrxsandmanx@yahoo.com) Hmmmm...is this possible??

Our Craftsman tools are guaranteed forever... or at least as long as we can keep afloat. (dart270@geocities.com)

Sears-Mart: Not cheaper prices; just cheaper. (mikepena@socal.rr.com)

The winners:

Ewe arrr ay jeanie...um a genie....a geenyus....you's smart!...

We put the 'K' in "kuality"! (monetmonet@artlover.com)

You know, this is so incredibly wittily stupid...it just might work...

Featuring blue light specials in a catalog near you! (william.fishburne@verizon.net)