Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(updated 26 Aug 03)
Really Bad "Back To School" Items
Gameboy cleverly disguised as pocket calculator. (email@example.com)
"Get those teachers back from last years report card grades. New!! PAYBACK APPLES... Good on the outside, but rotten in the middle. Each apple sold separately." (firstname.lastname@example.org)
The handgun-shaped water bottle. (email@example.com) So the folks at Super Soaker are aiming for a different target audience?
Crayola's Noncommittal Crayons -- 37 different shades of gray! (firstname.lastname@example.org)
See-thru backpacks. (Sugarbaybee69@aol.com)
Depends pads, cause your kid will only get three bathroom breaks for the whole school year. (Lil0kimie@aol.com) Now with fun "Rugrats" characters on each one!
The "Knockers For Your Lockers" school calendar collection. (email@example.com)
"Politically Correct" crayons - all one color. (MooseSpeak@earthlink.net)
An "Odai" and "Qusai" Hussein lunchbox. (firstname.lastname@example.org) ...to make it easier to identify the kids who are getting bullied this year? ...And Buckwheat Hussein says these are "O-dai!"
Fisher Price's Backpack Full O' Bricks (email@example.com)
Math books written by former Enron and WorldCom execs. (MrglsJon@aol.com)
Jogging Scissors (firstname.lastname@example.org) For when you want to "literally" jog your memory.
An Apple computer with a worm virus in it. (email@example.com)
Last year's items will do....you're held back!! (firstname.lastname@example.org) "Kindergarten: The 5-Year Plan"!
"How to Pass That Pregnancy Test" by Cliff Notes (email@example.com)
The new "cheat sheet" tattoo collection (comes in algebra to zoology). (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Will this gadget help you? You bet your as*terisk it won't!...
The New Ozzy Osborne Spell Check and Grammar Help (email@example.com)
"Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all!":
Pokemon Condoms (RangerXman@aol.com)