Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 26 Aug 05)
Really Bad Things They Are Looking For In a New James Bond Since Pierce Brosnan Is Out
What....Pierce Brosnan is gay?! (email@example.com)
Tom is too busy with Katie, thank God. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A James Bond who'll take a martini anyway he can get it! (BRE737@aol.com) Whaddya know...I'm qualified!
A one-eyed flying purple people eater. (email@example.com)
Cad auditioning under the name of Regina Moore. (HerzogVon@aol.com)
Someone who can do more than grab women and blow stuff up. Why can't they make a "chick" Bond film? ;) (DaphnetheRed@yahoo.com) Blonde....Jane Blonde.
Someone who is good at playing a man-whore. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A guy who can hold his breath under water for 10 minutes as he grabs a bottle of excellent champagne from a sunken ship, cuts the ropes that bind him and a beautiful woman together, introduces himself to the woman as "Bond, James Bond," and toasts his captors as he and the woman surface and escape. (email@example.com) I think you just gave the plot of them all...plus the next one.
Somebody UNDER 40 for once!! (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com)
Anyone who can properly pronounce "neighbourhood". (firstname.lastname@example.org) Rogers....Mister Rogers--no, wait, he's dead. NEXT!
In order to appeal to a wider audience, a Bond who'll seduce women AND men. (GribsbyOK@hotmail.com)
Able to say a line like: "That doesn't make much cents, Miss Moneypenny..", and still keep a straight face. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Hey, I read it and kept a straight face...does that count? ;)
Socially conscious actor who can look tough while ordering a Shirley Temple; shaken, not stirred. (MrglsJon@aol.com)
After shooting the bad guy with the new, multitasking mobile phone/gun/satellite GPS unit, asking wryly "Can you hear me now?" (email@example.com) Again, another plot giveaway.
Another accent you can't recognize. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com)
Looking for someone who wants an oddjob.. (Airfarcewon@aol.com) Ummm....Hugh Grant? Yeah, yeah, it's an old scandal, sue me....
"So... Mr. Jackson... Samuel... you've played a Jedi, a crook, a cop, a crooked cop... how's your British Accent?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Simply something wickedly different...no moore or laz! (email@example.com) ...or some dalton the screen. Okay, it was supposed to sound like 'dolt'...just use an accent, okay??
"Ok...get Connery some Rogaine...!" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
No wonder he'd rather it be shaken than stirred...
Wanted: Middle aged man, must have stick up his ass (email@example.com)
Please, PLEASE don't be referring to Doris Roberts...
Someone who can remember the name of Brosnan's hottie co-star on 'Remington Steele'. (firstname.lastname@example.org)