Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 27 Mar 04)

Really Bad Signs Your Knowledge of Trivia Has Gotten Out of Hand

They call you "Cliff". (

You're arrested for domestic disturbance following a heated disagreement with your spouse about whether or not the gun used by the robot on the latest show of CSI was constructed by the same propmaster that made the bridge control console shown in Episode 59 of the original Star Trek series. (

You know how many rings there are on a ringworm. (

Did you know trivia is really an acronym that means Totally Random Information and Verifiable Inane Arcana? ( That was very acro-nymble of you!

More than one contestant has used you as a lifeline on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." (;

You Insist on being called "Mrs. Pickwick" - Trivia Guru from Game Show Network's "Cram" even though you are male. (

I know how many times Samantha twitched her nose in Bewitched. ( Sheesh, everyone knows she didn't exactly "twitch" her nose...she moved her upper lip from side to side.

You actually start to CARE whose voice was "My Mother the Car". (

The only member of the R&B group ZZ Top that did not have a beard, was named Frank Beard. (

Interesting tidbit: 3.6% of all Americans feel that their knowledge of trivia has gotten out of hand. Sorry that I don't have a response for your topic. (

You start a letter writing campaign to force the makers of Trivial Pursuit to come up with some difficult questions. ( A bit of personal trivia (yeah, I know you care): I knew someone who hadn't opened their "Genus" edition of Trivial Pursuit they received as a gift because they thought it said "Genius" and figured it was going to be too difficult to play.

You can remember every President from Washington through George W, but continue to refer to your youngest child as "What's His Name". (

No one can enter your home unless they can name Snow White's seven dwarfs. ( Slappy, Pappy, Pippy, Poppy, Zippy, Scrappy, and Snowball! HA, I say! HAAAAA!!!

When you play Trivial Pursuit, they ask you to drink six six-packs first. (

Alex Trebek calls you for verification. (;

You mean Trivia, the Roman Goddess of the crossroads? The one who had three faces, Luna in heaven, Diana on Earth, and Hecate in Hell? Never heard of her. (

You're using anecdotes from ancient Assyrian carvings as pick-up lines. ( I would make an "ass" joke here, but I think everyone already has.

Wrong. In Star Trek episode 47, Obsession, Spock does not quote the odds of survival as 1 in 10,463. He said, 1 in 10,463.25743. (

At the job interview, when the prospective boss introduces himself, you tell him that he has the same name as the pitcher who gave up home run #394 to Babe Ruth. (

You've won Ben Stein's money, car, house, and wife. (

Nobody gets you any gifts, ever. They are tired of hearing about the origin of wrapping paper. (

When someone in the room asks a question about medieval dress codes, all your friends slap their foreheads, groan, and back away from you. ( You know...I CRINGE at the number of times this has happened to me!

There is one trivial aspect of your life left: If you will remain a virgin. (

Trivia. Now there's an interesting word. From the Latin word... ( ...zzzzzzzzzzzz.... Been watching "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" a lot lately, huh?

When you can remember that this very topic was discussed on a German web site in July of 1998. (

The winners:

Oh yeah? Slappy, Pappy, Pip--oh wait, that's not right...

You know the names of the stars in the Big Dipper but you can't remember the names of your kids. (

This pretty much destines you to a life alone...not that anything really changes much...

The local Mensa chapter kicks you out for being an "insufferable know-it-all". (