Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 27 May 03)

Really Bad Slogans For Beano
(the anti-gas product)

Beano, Beano, the music-less fruit. The more you eat, the less you toot. (

Beano: It gets rid of gas so you won't have to. (

Beano: We strained to think of a worse name for it, but came up empty. ( ...and so will you...with Beano!

You eat 'em, we delete 'em! (

Because there are some times NOT to be full of it! (

Tired of buying new underwear? ( Nah...I'll just borrow my girlfriend's.

Beano means never having to say you're sorry. (

Beano: We don't fart around and we mean it!!! (

Don't talk out of your ass---BEANO!!! ( Hmmmm...I wonder how much it would cost to get Jim Carrey to endorse this one.

You can deny it, because you didn't supply it! (

At Long Last! A Butt Plug you enjoy orally! (

Side-effects be damned, you'll be better off for taking it in the end! ( In the end? I thought it was in pill form!

Because breaking wind should only be for storm windows. (

Beano: The anti-fume legume. (

Beano... because it's hard to be classy when you're feeling gassy. ( That's right, always try to assentuate the positive.

Beano: Because some things are better kept to yourself. (

Beano: The quicker pucker-upper! (

Thank you, Beano...Now it's safe to pull my finger! (

There was a pill that took out farts, and Beano was it's name-o....B-E-A-N-O, and Beano was it's name-o. ( Encore! Encore!

With Beano..There will "Be No" embarrassment. (

The winners:

The little pill that just might be man's new best friend...

Beano. Blame the dog...and mean it this time. (

Something's in the air...and it ain't romance:

Beano. It may cause cancer in lab rats, but those lab rats sure don't fart. (