Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(Updated 27 May 05)

Really Bad Signs Your Prom Turned Out To Be/Is Going To Be 'Forgettable'

He picks you up, introduces you to his three other dates and says, "Hey, I couldn't decide." (lanny888@yahoo.com)

The Girl Most Likely To Succeed did. She runs the Las Vegas House of 'We Will Do Anything For A Buck That Rhymes With Luck." (NITRAMXXX@AOL.COM)

What if you just never went: Is that a good enough reason to forget it? (HerzogVon@aol.com) To paraphrase Bill Clinton (who probably went to his daughter's prom), "I feel your pain."

Your date had you Photoshopped out of your couple's picture. (glacier68@comcast.net)

It was the same night as Grad Nite at Disneyland. I honestly don't remember much of those 36 hours, or HOW a statue of Dumbo the Flying Elephant got in my front yard. (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Your date's dress matches yours...and he's late. (mcsestretch@hotmail.com) Yeah yeah...plus he fills it out better.

The punch is spiked with more punch. (amfpsych@aol.com; guitartexn@aol.com)

You went to your High School Reunion and were shocked to see how young everyone else looked. Then a pimply-faced kid in a tuxedo two sizes too big tells you, "Of course, everybody looks young,this is the Junior Prom! The reunion is in the room next door." (AuntShecky711@aol.com) Reminds me of the couple I sat with at my class reunion….turned out the reason no one looked familiar was because they were at the wrong reunion….D'oh!

You go alone, you dance alone, you eat alone, you go home alone. Like I did. But then again I remember that. (moxham4@hotmail.com)

The band is the Starland Vocal Band. How the hell were they available that night? (e-marlon@sio.midco.com; l1061s@go.com) Talk about feeling your pain...and uh...I think they're available EVERY night.

Sadly, I grew up in a neighborhood where we DON'T shoot the guy responsible for hiring the band... (marieracewalks@hotmail.com) See above.

Your date made a firm "not until marriage" pledge. (GrigsbyOK@hotmail.com)

Your parents decide to come along so they can enjoy your special night with you (and they video tape your every move). (madavis62@alltel.net) It's Paris Hilton all over again!

Prom is for people who got their G.E.D. online. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

Your tuxedo was a worn by a famous actor--- Jim Carey in "Dumb & Dumber". (jdcoops3@aol.com)

It was the Chess Club's turn to do the decorations this year. (LouMizzou@yahoo.com) Let me guess...the only song playing was "One Night In Bangkok"?

Your date body pierces her corsage to her nipple. (bjjtoff@tds.net)

The lunch lady is named Prom Queen. (amfpsych@aol.com) That's the good news...the bad news is she's your date.

Rented Limo: $100. Rented tux: $50. Corsage for date: $25. Got drunk, passed out: $12. Found women's panties in your tux pocket the next morning: Priceless. Remembering you took your sister to the prom: Forgettable. (dorr@jam.rr.com)

Due to increased concern about the "dirty" dancing at the previous prom, all forms of dance have been banned...except "River Dance". (AnthrStupdSN@aol.com)

For your prom date you settle for a girl with big zits. (maxcel200@aol.com)

The winners:

Mommmmmmm....Jimmy poked her...

Your youngest BROTHER got his license before you did, so guess who your chauffeur is? (paracletus3@earthlink.net)

Wow! Someone had a more terrible Prom than mine??

My dress ripped, the car had a flat, the band came from a Holiday Inn lounge and my date turned out to be gay! Anything else you want to know? (Waaaah!) (wedrixe@netscape.net)