Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 2 May 03)

Really Bad Reality TV Network Slogans

Real!...The king of the Ism's! (

Got real? (

If it bleeds, breeds, or feeds on misery, you will see here. If Saddam watched us, he'd still be president. Find out why NBC, CBS, ABC, and FOX all passed on our shows. ( Hmmm....sounds like UPN has a new PR department.

Fear Factor: Where raping a goat could win you $50,000. (

FOX News Channel: Fair and Balanced, not like those Commie-Pinko, Anti-American, Saddam-Loving, Rat Bastard Democrats at Those Other Networks (

Featuring things you wouldn't do in a million years done by people that are much better looking than you or either of your friends. ( Well...I'll show them...I don't have any friends!

Give us 60 minutes and we'll show you enough stupid behavior to make you suicidal. (Call us when you're ready and we'll be right over with our cameras; no muss, no fuss.) (

So all you losers in la-la land can feel like you're a part of something, too. (

The Bachelor: We're looking for desperate and pathetic women like you. ( Catchy...

Like the Golf Channel---but with sex and explosions! (

Our reality is JUST a little more screwed up than yours. (

Although we market it as reality you will never ever do any of this stuff in your life. ( ...well unless someone paid me.

So real we sometimes watch ourselves watch ourselves watch.. well, we get bored too! (

Don't worry, the bleeping is just to see if kids are paying attention. (

So's unreal! ( Like, far out! I totally hear you, man.

When reality isn't real enough, you really need to tune in to our REALLY real reality shows! (

Exploiting the masses in the name of Nielsen Ratings. ( Hmmm...this sounds oddly familiar.

Odds are, someone WILL die soon! (

The winner:

For the first time ever...Leis and I thought the same thing...Finally, someone who says what we're thinking...

We can't believe people watch this crap, either. (