Banter provided by Cad and Leis
(Updated 2 Sep 04)
Really Bad Signs You Are Way Ahead of Your Time
(Topic suggested by firstname.lastname@example.org)
See my submission for last week's contest. (TvOrNotTv1@aol.com)
You're the only one in the United ticket line booking passage to Neptune. (email@example.com)
The crispy $20 bills you just made have the year 2010 printed on them. (Cantw82paint@Aol.com) Still more believable than that $200 one with Dubya.
You age in dog years. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
I invented the duck manicure. Trust me, in 2035 you'll understand and realize I am brilliant. (email@example.com)
Your last garage sale put you in a higher tax bracket. (firstname.lastname@example.org) I always knew the remains of Jimmy Hoffa would come in handy, someday!
You set your watch six hours ahead. (email@example.com)
You just stepped out of your DeLorean and fell 40 feet because you didn't park it right. (Mistahtom@aol.com) No no no - that's the Top Ten contest.
Your movie and music collection won't play on any machine at the store yet. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
You designed your own personal web page... in 1974. (Truckerex@insightbb.com)
I've got the seven year itch...and I've only been married 2 years! (Airfarcewon@aol.com) LOL, she's a....oh, you said ITCH....
Everyone thinks you're an idiot, except mental patients, who think you're a genius. (email@example.com)
No one, not even HMO, will print your manifesto on why soap should be banned from the world. (marymarg27608@yahoocom)
Dumped "Toys R Us" stock in 2000. (DOrr@jam.rr.com) Ha! I'm so much further ahead than you - I never even bought any to start with!
At first everyone laughed and pointed at my Mohawk toupee, but they all started to get used to it after awhile. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Only Mom supports your plan to dispose of toxic waste by making it edible. (email@example.com)
You read tomorrow's horoscope to see how your day was yesterday. (AuntShecky711@aol.com) But only on the days you were passed out.
You're already making jokes about Hillary Clinton's presidency. (MaislosMom@comcast.net)
Bald at age twenty. (firstname.lastname@example.org; email@example.com) That's not so bad...if you're an athlete.
I already hate this fall's new TV shows. (firstname.lastname@example.org)
A ghostly apparition of Ernie Kovacs comes to you and says, "Damn, you're weird!" (email@example.com) With or without the monkeys?
It's better than when they gave me noogies and called me 'McFly'...
Wise-asses greet you with, "Well, if it ain't Doctor Emmett L. Brown. How's your jigowatts, Doc?" (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Aha! You can't fool me...there were no fashions in the 90s!...
Already wearing early 90's fashions again. (email@example.com)