Banter provided by Cad and Leis

(updated 30 Aug 03)

Really Bad Ways To Help Shrink the Deficit

Make the one dollar bill 100% smaller than the hundred dollar bill. (

I propose we convert to Canadian currency and shrink the deficit 35% - instantly! ( What a really good plan, ay.

Mortgage Boardwalk and Park Place. (

Raise gasoline prices to 5 dollars a gallon. (

Charge White House tourists fifty cents for a piggyback ride from "Uncle" Dick Cheney. ( Uh, yeah...that's the ticket.

That wacky invention used by Rick Moranis in "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." (

Legalize pot and prostitution and tax heavily. (

Cart it to "The World Series of Poker", wait till you get a 4 - 9, unsuited, and go "all in". ( Okay, but absolutely NO strip poker!

Anoint the maker of Preparation H as Special Assistant to Greenspan. (

Show nude pictures of Hillary Clinton.. it would make parts of me shrink. (

Sell North Dakota to Canada. ( you've made about $ what?

Get rid of the secret service...everybody knows about them anyway. (

I WOULD say "Make the rich and the corporations pay their fair share in taxes," but that would be egalitarian of me... and nobody in Congress knows what that means. (coillteach_bard

Open a Congressional Thrift Store. ( Can you really sell intangible things like bribes?

Hire two guys named "Vic" and "Bruno" to collect from debtor nations. (

Have George W. Bush put a quarter in a jar every time he lies, says something stupid or mispronounces a word. ( Wouldn't that lead to a quarter shortage?

"Need a penny - Take a penny; Got a penny - Give a penny." (Cups placed by cash registers) (

Stop catering food for Ted Kennedy. ( Hell, his open bar tab itself must be astronomical!

Sell one of the less important states...Delaware, maybe. (

New IRS tax form, 1040BET - A "Double or Nothing" game of chance. (

The winners:

Isn't this how they paid for college, too?

Hold an auction where an 'illicit night' with the Bush twins is sold to the highest bidder. (

Even tho it's a crappy still holds water...

Increase cash flow by printing currency on toilet paper. (